Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

September 21-October 14

Sirius felt ghostly in the days following his discussion with Remus. He felt hollow and empty, and nothing made him feel better, or feel anything at all besides an unexplainable craving for Remus. Of course, Sirius did not act on these desires. He did his best to straight out avoid Remus, because being near him made his heart flutter in the most sickening way. He despised it. Not because he was attracted to a man, or that it was Remus. He despised it because he couldn't have Remus, not in the way he needed. Remus had told him that he would welcome his friendship while they were out of the watchful eye of their peers, but Sirius knew he couldn't accept that. It was hard enough ignoring Remus' existence altogether, and having a  sprinkle of him at the end of each day would only make Sirius want Remus more.

Sirius found other ways to distract himself. And he was completely upfront about the lot of it. He'd tell girls straight up that they were serving as a distraction for him and that he was merely using them, but they didn't care. After a couple of days, he had girls sending him letters asking him to meet them. Sirius began thinking more and more about how much he didn't enjoy it. So, he moved on. He was still sleeping with girls, but it was no longer as random. As awful as it was, he found himself approaching more and more girl who were in committed relationships. And he was just as honest with them.

Sirius didn't find his interactions with the girls nearly as satisfying as his interactions with their boyfriends, however. Sirius was very good at starting rumors about himself that usually ended with fist to the face or knee to the gut. And not once did Sirius fight back. He swore to himself a long time ago that he would be extremely vigilant to not lay a finger on anyone who did not truly deserve it. He would return to Gryffindor Tower at various hours of the night covered in purple marks; some of them came from a place of adoration, others a place of jealous rage.

Remus and Sirius agreed that it would be best to tell their friends about the plan Remus devised. They all recognized that it wasn't the best plan, but no one had thought of an alternative, so they all agreed in the end. James, Lily and Marlene were probably the only people keeping Sirius from going entirely off the deep end. At some point during the day, Lily would make James and Sirius both sit down and at least make a dent in their homework. This was the only reason that Sirius' homework wasn't piling up too far that it became unmanageable. Doing homework usually actually put Sirius in a better mood because it gave him an outlet, albeit a narrow one, that let him feel productive. Homework sessions went well until Sirius realized that the Divination notes he was copying were written in Remus' handwriting or he accidentally spun around in his chair and asked for Moony to proof his essay. Marlene pulled Sirius aside on a handful of occasions and asked him how it was going with Remus. At first, Sirius thought that talking about Remus with anyone would make him incredibly irritated, but he actually found it refreshing to just let off steam about what he saw Remus and Bertram doing throughout the day. James was a great morale booster. It seemed that every time Sirius looked at James, he was offering Sirius an encouraging smile or gazing proudly upon him. Sirius will never tell James this, but he often thought of James as sort of a mother hen. To Sirius, James always acted like he wished his mother had done. Sirius knew that James loved him unconditionally and would support him no matter what.

The worst parts of Sirius' days were any amount of time spent with Bertram. It seemed as though every little action performed by Bertram made Sirius' blood boil to the extent that he always made sure to put as much distance between himself and Bertram as he could. Sirius wasn't sure if he could trust himself enough not to hex or punch Bertram if he so much as laughed or sneezed.

Unfortunately, Sirius distancing himself from Remus was not a new game, he spent most of September doing exactly that, but this time it was different for the both of them.When Sirius decided last time that he couldn't spend as much time with Remus, it had been his own decision, but this time the decision had been made for him, and he wasn't exactly sure of how long he could live with it.