Tomboy Love Book 2: Love Is Like A Heartattack...

Not Being Loved Is Also Like Death

Ray Ray’s POV: I…………I dunno what happened I mean I was juss talking to Ciara and playing with Dreian while Tamara was talking to kamal next thing I know Tamara is in complete tears and running out the door! So fast I didn’t even hardly see her! I quickly put Dreian down gently and ran straight after her! What was she doing? She…………she…………she was standing in the middle of the road crying and holding her arms out! I was so scared I was almost stuck then I could hear a car speeding up the road I………what the fuck is she doing I was screaming at her to move out the way! When  knew what she was doing! She was trying to commit suicide! My heart was beating so fast I was sweating and my heart was skipping beats the car was so close to her and I dunno why but I juss couldn’t move! Why was I stuck I needed to stop her I screamed her name!!!!!!!!!!! then heard a loud crash and the car starching as kamal  and Ciara came running out! But one minute I was outside the house shouting at Tamara and the next thing I knew I was on top of her on the other side of the road I was confused when I noticed I saved her! Juss in time…..the car had bumped into a lamp post from moving after it had finally seen Tamara then it juss reversed and drove off? :P but anyway thank god I saved her what was she thinking she has tay to think about! She opened her eyes to see me on top of her, I got off, she said my name4 and she slammed her head into my chest and cried really hard saying she was soo sooo sorry! My heart was still skipping beats! I mean did that really juss happen? Never been so scared in my entire life!…………………….(end of POV)

Tamara: “I‘m so sorry ray, I‘m so sooooooooooooooo so sorry!” *crying real hard*

Ray Ray: “shhh! Shhh it‘s ok baby it‘s ok your hear that’s all that matters! *pulls her out his chest* what the fuck were you thinking?” *shows hurt and shock in his eyes*

Tamara: “I……….everything bad always happens to me! And I juss found out I lost my dad and…….”

Ray Ray: “stop right there! Now baby u listen to me! Not everything bad happens to you! I know you have a had a terrible life and I am truly sorry all of dis has happened to you baby! But you have me and Tay! Were you really going to juss leave us like that what the hell would have happened if I didn‘t get you in time?” *sounding a bit mad*

Tamara: “I no ray but then I no I‘m going to be a bad mom and I‘m only gonna make tay hate me more and more as he grew up I thought with me gone u would raise I’m right and that you would soon find someone better and someone who deserved you instead of and my messed up life”

Ray Ray: “oh ok fine!” *takes her off him and starts to walk off without another word*

Tamara: “ray where are you going?” *getting up off the floor*

Ray Ray: *Turns around* “TO FIND MY GIRLFRIEND! TAMARA NOW I KNOW YOU ARE TALKING BULLSHIT! WHY CAN‘T YOU SEE YOU ARE THE BEST MOM TAY COULD EVER HAVE AND HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK THAT I WOULD EVEN LOOK AT ANOTHER GIRL WHEN I HAVE YOU! HWY CAN‘T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TRY AND KILL YOURSELF YES YOUR UPSET YOUR DAD PASSES AS ANYONE WOULD BUT U CAN‘T DARE FUCKING SAY THAT EVERYTHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU! BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY BAY BOY AND ME! IF EVERYTHING BAD AS HAPPENED TO YOU THEN YOU ARE SAYING WE WERE A MISTAKE AND SO WAS TAY! I LOVE YOU! I WOULD DIE FOR TAMARA WHY CAN‘T YOU SEE THAT! DO U WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT?” *burning with anger and crying hard*

Tamara: *is about to speak…………..*

Ray Ray: “I CRIED! I CRIED FOR 2 FUCKING HOURS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I AM SORRY FOR ALL THE SHIT AND PAIN YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH! I CRIED PRAYING IF I GOT A CHANGE TO RE DO YOUR LIFE I CRIED BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WISH I COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK AND FINALLY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD I CRIED BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AND FEEL SORRY I CRIED BECAUSE I WISHED I WAS THERE WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY I CRIED BECAUSE…..BECAUSE I LOVE YOU I WOULD RATHER DIE IF YOU WEREN‘T IN MY LIFE OR IF ANYTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU I CRIED BECAUSE I PROMISED TO ALWAYS BE BY YOURSELF I CRIED BECAUSE I‘M GLAD ALL THOSE TIMES YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF THAT IT WASN‘T SUCCESSFUL I CRIED BECAUSE MY HEART BURNS FOR YOU! I CRIED BECAUSE I NEVER WANT TO BE WITHOUT YOU! IF THAT ISN‘T LOVE THEN TELL ME WHAT IT IS? HUH? TELL ME! EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES WITH YOU LOVE FEELS LIKE A HEART ATTACK I STILL LOVE YOU AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY WHY IN THE FUCK CAN‘T YOU SEE IT! YOU HAVE ALWAYS SAID U NEED SOMEONE WHO IS THERE FOR YOU AND WHEN YOU FINALLY DO ALL YOUR DOING IS PUSHING ME AWAY TAMARA! I LOVE YOU I LOVE SOOOOOOOOO MUCH I WOULD SCREAM IT TO THE WORLD IF U HAVE TOO WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR YOU TO FINALLY REALISE THAT I LOVE YOU AND I AM HAPPY! I AM HAPPY BEING WITH YOU AND I AM HAPPY WITH TAY WHY AREN‘T YOU? TAY COULD HAVE DIED BACK AT THE HOSPITAL BUT HE DIDN‘T! WE HAVE OUR BABY TO THINK ABOUT TAMARA! I JUSS REALISED SOMETHING THAT I DIDN‘T WANT TO! I………I CAN NEVER MAKE YOU HAPPY………NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I WOULD DIE TRYING IF IT MADE U HAPPY IF U CAN NEVER MAKE YOU HAPPY…were we even meant to be together?…………” *crying really hard and cracks in his voice, almost standing in the middle of the road, no cars were coming*

Tamara: “ray………” *looks him in the eye as she cries really Hard*

Ray Ray: *shakes his head in anger and hurt then carries on walking and gets the car he opens the car door…….*

Tamara: *screams ray’s name crying harder* “RAY!!!!”

*Ray Ray don‘t even look at her he juss gets in the car and speeds down the road…………………..*

:O

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