My Life, My Confessions

Honey Bun part2

*theres more to this story I'm sorry if you hate it, I got this idea from a story I read and it related to her so I'm writing about it again. I might delete part one of this because some things might be repeated. Sorry this goes along with 'Hold On' by Chord Overstreet I totally recommend.

I can't imagine a world with you gone
I never wanted to live without you by my side. Now I'm living this misery by myself without you here.

The joys and the chaos,
I miss your laugh, and your swearing at me. I miss you in general our inside jokes or the stupid small fights we had. It all felt so small at the time but now you are gone and that's all I have left. I can't laugh with you one last time, I can't hear you laugh one last time

I'd be so lost if you left me alone
You left I'm lost. I'm alone in this world. I'm alone without my rock, the one who kept me grounded

You locked yourself in the bathroom
That's were it happened, you died alone in the bathroom. On the floor alone by yourself I left you alone in the bathroom.

Lying on the floor when I break through I pulled you in to feel your heartbeat
I wasn't there I'm sorry, your mom found you on the floor dead, your heart stopped beating it was over but we didn't lose faith in you I promise we thought you would make it

Can you hear me screaming please don't leave me
I still talk to you to this day. I still wonder why you left me alone, why you thought that was the easy way out. I wonder everyday if you were hurt while dying which is stupid because obviously you hurt a lot. But I want to know if I hurt you.

Hold on, I still want you
Hold on I still need you
Please I wish this was a dream I wish I could blink and there you were in front of me. But that will never happen you let go. I still want you to be here I want to be able to see your eyes sparkle or hear your laugh. I need you to be here so that I can make it through life. I need you at my wedding to hold my kids I need you here. I want and need you please I wish you could come back to me.

Let me take your hand, I'll make it alright
I swear to love you all my life
I wasn't there to make it alright. I loved you and always will love you. You were my best friend I can't imagine not loving you. I will forever and always be your best friend, I was your person until your last breath. You were the only one who understood me. I miss it, you made my life better

A long endless highway, you're silent beside me
I believe that you are my guardian angel. I believe that you will always be with me I feel your presence everywhere I go. I hear your voice telling me it's okay when times get tough. I know you are dancing above me and will always be there for everything

Drivin a nightmare I can't escape from
Hopelessly praying, the light isn't fadin
I can't escape this nightmare I close my eyes and dream about you. Are you okay, can you hear me? Do you miss me too? Is this all useless? I pray to god that you can hear and see me I look up at the stars every night. I know you are brightest one in the sky. Always right in front of me I love you...

Hiding in the shock and the chill in my bones
That night I tried not to break, the next day I tried not to cry. I tired to stay strong but it wouldn't work. In school I was a mess missing you. Later hat night I snapchated you expecting you to answer. I still call you to hear your voicemail. I saved one of them that you sent when you were a mess, I listen to it everyday. I saved my birthday message from you I can't wait to hear it on my birthday. I'm still shocked you are gone and I still get goosebumps thinking about it.

They took you away on the table
I pace back and fourth as you lay still
That night I didn't sleep, I stayed on the phone with your mom. She needed me I needed her. We needed each others presence because that was the worst night of both our lives. Even though she knew you were dead your mom called an ambulance, they did everything that they could have to save you. In the end you were dead not brain dead your brain worked just the rest of you didn't.

I don't wanna let go
I know I'm not that strong
I didn't believe the news for awhile. I didn't want to believe that you were gone. I wasn't strong enough to let go. I had a mental breakdown and a few panic attacks because I need you here. I thought it was a prank you would wake up laughing but no.

I just wanna hear you
Saying baby lets go home
Let's go home
Yeah I just wanna take you home
I expected you to wake up to say something funny about dying. I expected that you would ask were your puppy was or ask what happened. But I was being sadly everyday I expect you to call me and say you are alright. I don't know why I expect anything.

Hold on I still want you
come back, I still need you
I love you best friend forever and always 🍯

AUTHOR NOTE: damn this ones long haha if you want more of these then please tell me. I love this song so much and felt like writing about it. I don't know it's probably no good but hey thanks for reading