lost

this is all my fault (colby)

*flashback*

911: okay we are tracing the phone call. We are dispatching the ambulance now.

*end of flashback*

I woke up in the hospital waiting room. For a second I was confused. I forgot where I was. The memories of what happened flooded back into my mind. I looked at the clock in the room to see it's 7:30. It's been 6 hours. I walked to the clerk. " I need to see Sam Golbach."

"Sorry sir, he cannot be seen by anyone other than family." "Please ma'am. I was involved in the crash." I pleaded. "Sorry sir, I cannot let you see him." she sayS emotionless.

I sighed, giving up. I went and sat back down. I checked my phone. 10 text messages, 2 missed calls. One was from Sam's sister, Allison. I had 3 from my brother, 1 from a classmate, and the rest from my mom.

Allison: Is he okay? I know you're probably busy. Answer when you can.

Gage: little bro, you okay?

Gage: Colby?

Gage: answer me please, I'm worried.

Edward: We have no homework in Mrs. Andrews but we have an assignment in English.

Mom <3: Why did you leave school?

Mom <3: Are you with Sam?

Mom<3: Colby it's been 2 hours and you haven't answered me.

Mom <3: I got a call from the doctor.

Mom<3: I hope he makes it.

What did she mean? I replied to everyone, letting them know I was okay, I was just sleeping.

A doctor, I'm assuming Sam's, walks out of a room and heads in my direction? "Colby?" He asked. "Yes." I ran towards him. "Walk with me." He stated. "Sam is in a coma, and his chances of surviving is minimal, but possible. He fractured 5 bones and broke 2. He had something in his back pocket." He handed me what he had. Paper folded up. I grabbed and unfolded it. A note.
May be triggering
4/12/13

To Colby:

If you are reading this, I have successfully ended my life. I'm sorry if this breaks your heart, but trust me, if I could've stayed without pain, I would've. You don't know half of my story. Damian bullied me, which you do know, and my mom didn't believe me. She couldn't accept that I am/was gay, and would bring me down everyday. At 13, my dad left, and he said straight to my Mom and I's face, "Just so you know, Cindy, it was Sam's fault, since he was born my feelings for you have disappeared. Sam did this.". This is all my fault, and I know that. I'm sorry. I love you and I would never intentionally hurt you. The pain is just too much, I couldn't take it. If you must know, I have been planning this every since the last time (4 years ago) I tried.

Love, Sam

Oh my god. He wrote this three weeks ago, before he went to the mental hospital. "Colby, did you hear me?" I heard the doctor say. I folded the note back up and put it in my pocket. "No sir."
Over.
" I said that if he doesn't respond in 6 months, he will be taken off of life support. His chances of surviving without it is slim to none. Only 8%. e are at his room. You have 3 hours." "please let me stay here overnight, PLEASE." I pleaded. The doctor hesitated. "please..." "Fine, you can stay. You will have to leave in the morning to get ready, though." I nodded and entered the room.

Sam was peacefully 'asleep' on the hospital bed. He looked so peaceful. He had a gash in his eyebrow, lip, and just below his eye. He had three bruises throughout his face.

I started crying. This is living hell. I sat there sulking in my own sadness for awhile.

*two weeks pass*

He still hasn't woke up. I miss him so much. I can't deal with this. I have been failing school, but I don't care right now.

*two months pass*

I am so close to never getting up again. This is killing me.

You'll hate me by the end of this book :)