To My Horror

Chapter One

Chester's Point of View:

Mike and I have been together for nearly a year since the tour ended. He's been so helpful but I'm afraid he might regret being with me and all my problems. I have this sick feeling that he's been doing something that could hurt me forever and nothing could help me when I'm past that point. I love Mike and I thought he loved me, but I could be horribly mistaken.

"Mikey, are you up?" I whispered and he just groaned in response. I sighed quietly and crawled out of bed. I moved into his house and it's almost five in the morning. I've been having sleeping problems again. I went into the bathroom and started up the shower before undressing and stepping inside. I put my head against the wall and allowed the warm water to trickle down my back.

I remembered last Halloween and how much fun it was at the start. I've never felt so good before, everyone made me feel as though I was apart of them. I recall laughing extremely hard when Mike came out of the bathroom with a Twister board outfit on with a red circle over his junk. He held up the spinner and showed that the color red took up most of the possibilities. He let me spin it and it landed on yellow, making him groan and laugh at the same time over his misfortune of me not landing on red.

He had tossed me a lion costume that was three times too big for me so it looked like I was sinking into my clothes. Phoenix went as the Devil and Joe dressed up as an Angel. It seemed those two had planned their costumes out together. Rob simply wore a t-shirt that said 'Halloween Costume' on it and Brad was more fun by dressing up as a clown.

"Delson, where's your costume?" Mike had asked him, making everyone laugh. We all started enjoying the party after that but it became ruined in an instant. When Jason showed up, dressed as Jason from Friday the 13th. He had a mask on so we didn't even know it was him until he tried talking to me multiple times.

After the party ended and he got arrested, I began wondering if I should forgive him. I know he sent that guy on me to hurt me but I feel like if I forgive him, maybe he'll leave me alone. He was forgotten in my mind for a long while but he randomly just popped back in my head.

My mind suddenly decided to think about Mike. He and Brad have been closer lately, almost as close as Mike and I if they were the gay couple. I wasn't jealous, I couldn't be. Brad's one of my best friends and he's been Mike's for almost forever. I'm actually surprised Mike's home right now. Sometimes he'd stay the night at Brad's.

I didn't want to tell Mike, but I've become terribly lonely again since he and Brad became closer. I almost cut myself again one night when he didn't come home and didn't tell me where he was. I was having a panic attack and thought he'd abandoned me. He had left me a voice message that I finally heard, telling me he stayed with Brad. I couldn't get upset with him, it wasn't his fault.

I haven't been as close to Mike or any of the band lately. I just shut myself away and keep to myself now. It hurts so much and I really miss the feeling of love but now it feels like it wasn't even there in the first place.