Silent ✔

[23]

A T H E N A
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"Athena?" Corbyn calls from my doorway, the tears clearly evident in his voice.

"How could we have not known? He was our best friend!" I sob.

"I know, I know. He made us letters. There's one for each of us." My twin brother explains.

Jacks letter to Athena

Dear Thena,
If your reading this then that means I surrendered. I surrendered to the demons inside my head.

I'm guessing you wanna know how I possibly could've done this to you, to Corbyn, to Daniel, to Zach and the girls, to my parents, to my sisters and most importantly to myself.

It's simple really, I'm just not good enough. All these screams, but they still never heard me. All these clothes, but I still couldn't fit in. All these weights, but I still couldn't pull myself together. All these cameras, but I still couldn't picture myself alive.

I'm sorry I put you through this but life just isn't for me. I'm just a waste of space. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.

Everything has gone from me except the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life. I will always love you.
From, Jack.

Jack's Letter to Corbyn

Dear Corbyn,
We've been friends for a long time and I'm betting that your wishing you could've seen the signs.

But you couldn't, no one could.

There was nothing you could have done to stop me because I had already made up my mind. I'm too impossible to love and bring to much emotional distraught.

I hated who I was and what I've became. I hate that I woke up and always see daylight. I hate that before I slept I always cried. I was tired of living that's why I did what I did. I'm sorry Corbs but please don't mourn. I'm not that important.
Love, Jack

Jack's letter to Daniel

Dear Daniel,
I know you tried to do this before but failed. You failed because you had something to live for.

I do not.

Depression stole my motivation. It stole my friends. My dreams. My future. My life. It stole me.

It made me hate my life, my smile and now I know that the little voice in my head was always right. The one that told me 'your worthless.' , 'they don't love you.' Or 'you fuck everything up.' And when I brought that gun up to my head the voice said 'finally, your gonna do something right.'

Your my best friend, please don't make me become a set back from you talking. I don't want to ruin anymore things. I love you.
From, Jack

Jack's letter to his family

Dear Family,
I want to thank you all for bringing me into this world and loving me but it just wasn't enough.

I know that sounds selfish but it's true.

You didn't pay enough attention to me. You didn't see that when I told I was fine I was lying, you didn't see that when I smiled it was fake.

Ava, Isla, I'm sorry that I won't be there to protect you but you didn't really need me anyway.

Mom, Dad, I'm sorry I held you back from what you really wanted to do. I spent hours crying and I could see the concern slowly slipping away, you didn't care anymore.

Syd, I'm sorry for being as selfish as I was and trying to take our parents from you when your problems were more important.

I was misplaced, born in the wrong time and in the wrong place. I can't deal with the pain I'm not a fighter. But it's okay, just hug your pillow tighter. I love you all.
From, Jack

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