• WORST IN ME • A Thomas Shelby Fanfic •

t h i r t e e n

I wake up in a stir of some sort, protesting with the tubes around my body. I wither and moan and groan and fight until hands cover mine. The thought of Luca makes me still feel heated, I want to kill him. Hold his heart in my hands and watch as the blood stops flowing from it.

"Alice," Tommy says, and I open my eyes to see him looking down at me. "You're alright, you're home."

I look around in search for the bleak white walls before noticing the rustic grey of our bedroom at home. Home!

My eyes snap back to Tommy's. "I'm home." I whisper.

He breaks into a small smile, shy. "Yes, you're home, love." He comes down and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"Luca?" I ask.

"He's still here." He tells me, stroking the side of my face. "But I don't need you worrying about him. I've got it taken care of."

"He told me I was pregnant..." I whisper, shuttering in. Shaking my head, I can feel the news of this breaking me all over again. "Pregnant, Tommy. I was-I was-" I hiccup. "Tell me, please, tell me he was lying! Tell me this is some kind of-"

Thomas sighs, and runs his thumb over my cheek. Catching a tear. "Alice, you were pregnant but the doctor said you were only a month. The little guy was the size of a seed, no less."

His words rattle me. "But tommy-" I gasp. "A baby."

"I know," He whispers before pressing his forehead against mine. "It's not your fault."

"It is. If I had known I would have never-"

"Hush, Alice." He coo's. "You did nothing wrong. You didn't know any better. You were only trying to help."

"Oh Tommy," I wrap my arms around his back and pull him into me. He smells insanely good. I really am home. "I'm so sorry." I latch onto him, snuggling my nose into his neck, I shut my eyes.

"I shouldn't have left you alone." He whispers, kissing the side of my neck. "I'm sorry."

"What now?" I ask, pulling away to meet his eyes. "He needs to go... He needs to. He's caused so much pain."

"I know." He nods. "It'll be soon."

"How soon?"

"Soon." He promises, and kisses the back of my knuckle.

I take a deep breath, wondering where he was for the past two days. I can see in his eyes, a loss that reminds me that John is no longer here. God, who else will Luca take before he's stopped?

My eyes meet his, "Where is Nicholas?"

"He's with Linda and Billy."

I nod, biting down on my bottom lip. "Is he alright?"

He nods. "He just misses you. We both did."

I break a smile, rubbing my hand over my eyes. "I want to see him." I whisper. "Soon."

"You will." He pushes my hair back, smiling shyly, he ducks down and kisses me once. "I love you. Get some rest."

I fall back against the pillow and in a light groan, I close my eyes shut and kiss him back. He allows me to kiss his lips back before he pulls away. "Rest, please." Tommy kisses my forehead. "Time will heal all of this, I promise."

The next time I awaken, its to see Tommy sitting at the foot of the bed. I sit up, moving my feet to gently push him into noticing me, and when he does, he stands and smiles. Putting out his cigarette, Tommy makes his way towards me.

"You're awake."

"Mmmm." I hum, resting my head on the pillow. "How long have I been asleep?"

He looks absolutely divine, in a laid back, casual outfit. He looks so beautiful, all I really want to do is stare at him all night long.

"Long." He tells me, giving my legs a squeeze, he walks towards me and kisses my forehead. "About six hours."

"Is Nicholas back? I want to see him."

"Yes, but I just put him to bed and he doesn't take a liking to my bedtime stories."

I squint looking out the window before sighing. Its pitch black outside, "Christ, I really have been asleep long."

He runs his hand through my hair, "Mmm, but you're awake now."

"I am." I smile. I grab his arm and tug him down to my lips. It's a soft peck, but I feel like with each kiss we share, the more we get closer to being each other's again. Back to normal again.

"I missed you so much, Alice." He mumbles, "You have no idea."

I lick my lips, "I missed you."

He sits by my bed and strokes my hair. "Tomorrow, I promise, I'll get Luca-"

There is the tiniest, and most faint sound that stops Tommy and I and brings us to the door that is slightly open. I am just about to call out for Nicholas when his hand falls over my mouth. I turn and look at him to see his eyebrows pull together, he slowly rises but I grab his wrist.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, holding onto him for dear life.

"Something isn't right." He says, hesitating.

"It could be-"

Like time freezes, gunfire erupts from the downstairs. Tommy instantly hovers over me, covering me. I gasp, as he uses his hands to cover my body, compressing himself against my wound. I let out a scream but his hand covers mine again. I can't even hold my breath, I bite down on my tongue, forcing myself to not speak or scream.

"Tommy!" I can hear Johnny Dogs scream, he enters our bedroom with a sleeping Nicholas in his arms, "It's a fuckin' ambush!" Slamming the door shut, he moves Nicholas to our bed.

I look at Johnny, I look at Tommy, I look at Nicholas - who is literally passed out before thinking holy fuck. I need a drink. Several drinks.

"Oh hi, Alice." Johnny smiles bright at me.