The Twelve Fucks of Christmas: A Wolfstar Story

Mirror, Mirror

"How's he holding up?" Lily asked gently.

"About as well as you would expect," Remus sighed. "He's angry at Regulus for not coming to speak to him sooner, guilty about not feeling more upset about his mum...he thinks there's something wrong with him."

Remus sat cross-legged in front of the fire talking to Lily and James via firecall. Sirius had gone out for a walk to 'clear his head' and Remus took the opportunity to get their friends up to speed with what had happened the previous day. Lily had expressed her condolences and asked Remus to pass them on to Sirius, whereas James had been understandably less sorry to hear of the demise of Walburga Black.

"He's got nothing to feel guilty about!" James argued firmly. "His mother was an evil old hag, she doesn't deserve his tears or grief."

"James..." Lily scolded him gently but James persevered.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Remus. I remember all too well what it was like for Sirius during our school days," he muttered darkly. "His mum and dad both were evil. I'm sorrier that Sirius is suffering than that they're dead."

"As am I," Remus nodded solemnly. "But at the end of the day, she was still his mother. His head is all over the place at the moment. I think he's just going to need some time to process his feelings."

"Are you sure you don't want us to come over?" Lily implored. "Maybe seeing Harry will cheer him up?"

"Or we can ask Molly to watch him overnight if he'd rather it just be us," James offered but Remus declined.

"I think it's better just to leave him be for the moment. He'll put on big smiles and act the host if you come to visit," Remus explained.

"Okay," James sighed. "If you need us, please just give us a call. We'll be here at the cottage just in case."

Remus smiled sadly at them both. "Thank you. I'll be in touch if we need anything."

"Give Sirius our love," said Lily. Remus waved them off, watching as the emerald green flames flared and immediately extinguished, leaving the grate cold and empty. He sighed and slowly got to his feet, brushing ash from his trousers. He'd called Peter earlier in the morning and his reaction had been similar to James': more concerned for the well-being of his friend than sorry to hear what had happened. It was times like these that he felt fortunate to have the Marauders in his life; even if he didn't see James and Peter as often as he'd like to, they were always there for him and Sirius whenever they needed them. Which was more than could be said for Sirius' brother...

Remus stared out of the living room window, anxiety eating away at his nerves. It was snowing heavily now and there was still no sign of Sirius. He'd been gone for a couple of hours now and if he wasn't back home soon, Remus resolved to go and look for him. He hoped that he hadn't gone out, on the pretence of a walk, to see Regulus instead; he didn't think that would end well for either of them.

Just as Remus had decided to go out looking for Sirius, he saw a dark speck appear amongst the flurry of white blowing past the window atop the distant hill, gradually growing larger with each step. Remus let out a long sigh of relief. Well, wherever he'd gone, at least he'd come back in one piece.

When the door creaked open, Sirius kicked the snow off of his boots and brushed it out of his hair before slipping off his cloak. Remus stepped forward and took Sirius' cloak from him.

"Hey," said Remus gently, hanging it up on the coat stand. "How was your walk?"

Sirius shrugged. "Cold."

"You want a tea?" Remus offered. Sirius gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks."

Remus spent a few minutes prepping tea for himself and Sirius, wondering how he was going to broach the sensitive subject of his mother's funeral. He hated the thought of upsetting Sirius more than he already was, but knew that he had to ask what he planned on doing. When he reentered the living room he found Sirius staring blankly into the fireplace looking miserable. Remus handed him his cup and sat down on the couch next to him.