She

She was Everywhere

"Ash and I are going out. Wanna come?" Gemma questioned. I shook my head, not ready to leave the comforts of my old bedroom. "Okay. Well, Call me if you need anything."

"Bye Gem." I muttered half heartedly. I wanted to care. I wanted to want to go with them, but I just didn't. I didn't want much of anything. I wanted the Manchester Uni library, that I knew for sure, and I wanted Arden. I wanted to find her and yell out to the whole world that I was completely wrong, and that I was painfully in love with Arden Samantha Stone. But I couldn't do that. Arden was gone. She was in the states, and I was in England with Gemma.

The truth was, that I wanted more than anything to tell her exactly how I felt about her.

It had been 3 days since I ruined any chance I had with Arden. 3 endlessly long days, that I wished didn't exist.

My thoughts were over thrown by Arden and her presence. She was everywhere. I wondered where she was, what she was doing, if she was sad or lonely or broken hearted. But mostly I wondered if she was out there somewhere, wondering about me too.

I looked down at the sketch on my paper, it was disfigured and ruined by the many pencil shavings and eraser marks. It was my art work, but it wasn't up to par with my usual sketches. It was ugly and painful to look at. It was me.

I quickly tore the paper from its bindings in my sketchbook, tossing it in the waste-bin before deciding on taking a break from drawing.

This time, I decided to write. I thought maybe, just maybe if I wrote to Arden, she'd forgive me.

Library Girl,

I wish that I didn't have to say these things to you in a letter, but I fear there's no other way. I was wrong, so incredibly wrong, and stupid, for ruining what could have been with my jealousy and anger. You didn't deserve that.

I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at what you had that I didn't. Your parents love you, adore you even, and mine either left or can't mentally fathom the thought of having a child. I just saw you there with your family, and it angered me that your parents could fly from the U.S., and my own sister couldn't call from 45 minutes away.

Either way, I am in no way justified in my actions. I was wrong. Plain and simple. I was stupid for telling you things that were untrue, and lying straight to your face when you were so right about me.

That's just it, you were right about me. I do love you. I love you so much it actually pains me. My heart actually aches to know you're out there somewhere and not with me. I love you and I want you and I don't know why I could ever tell you any different.

I told you I didn't love you, when all I really wanted to do was tell you how completely and utterly in love with you I am; followed by kissing your perfect lips.

I'm in love with the way you don't brush your hair, or how you carry around your camera like you'd lose your mind if you didn't have it. I'm in love with the way you state your thoughts like biting your tongue is far too hard for you. I'm in love with your tee shirts and track shorts and bright red shoes; your obsession with Jack's Mannequin and the fact that you hate when I touch your feet. Im in love with your freckles and your glasses. I'm in love with every inch of you, from your size 7 shoe to the bun atop your beautiful head; and I can't say it enough now.

I don't know what I was thinking before but I know now that I can't think of anything but you and loving you.

I'm so sorry, and I'll say that as many times as you need in order to forgive me.

I just need you to love me.

I just need you, period.

You're the only person who's ever seem me, I mean really seen me. The person I am, my likes, dislikes, quirks. You know me.

I've always been invisible, that is, until you saw me.

I love you, and I fear I always will. So I need you to love me back, because I may not be able to function if you don't.

I love you,

Harry

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Short, I know. I'm sorry. But the good stuff comes next chapter.