About: shots are literally fired in this intense episode of Ambrosia, secretary skills are tested and so is trust. Who will survive the shot?
Duration: 45 minutes
PLAY
SCENE: due to missing footage and the producers lack of motivation to get it back, the episode starts with HERMES shooting paint balls at HADES, who isn't even playing.
HADES: I'm wearing white? Does it LOOK like im playing?
HERMES: [ stares dramatically into the distance and slowly takes off his black out shades ] ever since 2.30 this afternoon, colours shifted and everything became a blur. That's when I knew; this was my destiny.
HADES: I don't fucking know how to respond to you anymore, I -
Camera pans over to APHRODITE and HEPHAESTUS who are just continuously shooting at each other.
APHRODITE: [ loads gun ] well, MAYBE if you weren't so soft, people wouldn't step all over you all the time?
HEPHAESTUS: We can't all be 6'4 bitch! Also maybe if YOU weren't such a cheap ass piece of shit, people would stop mistaking you for fake Louis Vuitton's!
APHRODITE: BITCH.
ZEUS: Hestia, as my loyal assistant and secretary I need you to record this argument but don't let the other team know.
HESTIA: Zeus, I AM the other team.
ZEUS: Oh shit. Can you do it anyway?
APHRODITE: This is why I'm with Ares now! Because he is NICE to me
HEPHAESTUS: Nice to you? He's nice to you? Bitch he refused to look at you for 13 years until you got SURGERY
APHRODITE: [ clapping ] HE WAS PLAYING HARD TO GET.
HEPHAESTUS: IF YOURE GOING TO CLAP, PUT THE GUN DOWN. YOU LOOK FUCKING DUMB
APHRODITE: [ shoots HEPHAESTUS ] who looks dumb NOW huh?
The two enter what is essentially a shoot out, draining points for their team as they are on the same team.
ARTEMIS: What the FUCK is going on? Do you both realise that you're making us LOSE points? Zeus is in the lead, and he's a ONE MAN team: who's using Hestia as an assistant, who is also supposed to be on our team? So what the fuck are you two doing standing around shooting at each other? Go shoot Zeus?
APHRODITE: [ waving her gun around ] He started it! I'm not going anywhere until I get an apology I swear - [ trigger is pulled ]
glances are exchanged within the triangle, a bright orange spot was visible in the centre of ARTEMIS'S uniform. The three quickly had their guns pointed at each other, mirroring a scene from a mainstream TV show that can't be named for copyright reasons.
Silence
ZEUS: [ loud whispering ] Hestiaaaa
HESTIA: [ also loud whispering ] yeeaaahhhhh
ZEUS: are you getting this?
HESTIA: yeahhh
ZEUS: okay good. [ ZEUS crawls away on his elbows, nearly tripping ARES up in the process ]
it was safe to say that the gun triangle quickly became a square.
Intense montage of the points rising higher and lower, the majority team eventually going into the minus numbers due to The Square and a clip of ZEUS sunbathing in his black uniform is played.
HERA: [ sneaking into the computer room ] if I were Hades, what would I have my password as? [ types : "<3Persephone<3" as the logging on screen appears ] part of me wishes that Zeus and I were like that while also simultaneously praying we never will be. Now, where is the team file... ahh, this is what you get for celebrating too early Zeus.
Another intense montage of HESTIA writing emails for ZEUS, mainly to HERA asking for forgiveness, HERMES keeps shooting the wrong people and APHRODITE'S nail broke.
HADES: It's time for the results, unfortunately due to.. circumstances, Persephone could not join us today.
HERMES: What did you do
ARTEMIS: More like HOW did you do her
ARTEMIS and HERMES laugh so hard they cry for a few minutes until they both eventually sigh
HADES: [ glare ] in last place is Zeus with a total of 0 points and an additional minus 30 for trying to sabotage the other team, thank you Hestia for the evidence.
ZEUS: I knew it was her, she was always writing notes
HERA: you paid her $15 to be your secretary for the week?
HADES: In second place was Apollo with 590 points, he was a fucking ninja and I'm so proud.
APOLLO: don't look so shocked, y'all are fucking dumb.
HADES: and in first place, who is also the winning team, was Hermes. With. [ deep breath ] 6382 points. apparently it wasn't Zeus on his own team
HERMES: of course I won I manipulated Hera into - I mean ha ha oh my god it's an honour! I'll take my prize and go.
next episode in 5 . . .
