Things I as a person overcome; <3
· Bulimia: The binging began because my body was starving from the lack of nutrients and food. This caused it to get over excited every time food touched my mouth. The term “all or nothing” begun. This isn’t the way to live. I started to realise the triggers that caused binging were mainly restricting in the day. Once I got in the habit of eating three normal meals and snacks I began to binge less and less.
· Purging: Through my stages of anorexia, purging was used to get rid of anything that entered my mouth, I decreased this habit slowly after I was hospitalised. But as binging began, it became more frequent and dangerous. To decrease the purging I started to keep my mind busy whenever I had the urges such as walking the dog, going on my phone, meeting people etc. I would make sure I was miles away from tempting spots. Slowly but surely, the purging voice inside my head started to become quiet.
· Anorexia: I wouldn’t say I am completely over anorexia as the voices are still strong and living inside of my head I would say I have now know how to control it better, I know when to close it off before things get too serious. That must count as something right?
· Anxiety: Things such as wrapping my fingers around my wrist, biting my nails and scratching my collarbones were my way of coping with anxiety. They became nasty habits that I started, not even realising that I was doing them. Luckily, people notice around me and get me to notice before I cause myself harm. Anxiety is a big thing to get over; feeling anxious is a normal human feeling. I guess you just have to get yourself out of the situations that make you feel anxious. It’s hard to explain how I am overcoming this one really. What I do know is talking more helped my anxious nightmares from the past decrease. Maybe talking to someone you trust can help you a lot more than you think.
· Being around new people: This is a fear I have only just concurred, I have started a course called National Citizen Service which is held at Gloucester College and other colleges around the UK to help young people get involved with their community. And that’s exactly what we are done, but not only that we are also learnt things we never got taught at school. Such as life skills, management skills and business skills. I was with a team of people I have never met before, they are all younger and a lot more experienced in life than I am. Well that’s what I thought anyway, I thought they would all hate me. I thought I wouldn’t fit in. I was wrong. I have never met such a nice group in my entire life. I relate to half of them and the other half relate to me. It’s crazy! I have got on with every one of them. I was even confident enough to share my story. Even the leaders are great. I don’t even understand why I was so scared to socialise, it’s the best choice I have ever made. Well after recovery of course.
So they are just a few of the things I have overcome, I also have overcome my fear of public transport, my fear of being on the phone and much more and all because I chose recovery. Life is your reward. Every day will be a new struggle, but I refuse to give up. I am here to help others survive life. I am here to survive life.
