100 Days with Taylor

Day 4

Harry's point of view:

I haven't slept yet. I've been awake, debating whether I was going to read the papers I found in Taylor's room. Part of me was all for invading her privacy and finding out how she feels and another part of me felt utterly horrible.

I couldn't help it anymore. My pants were laying on the floor,  I dug through the pocket and picked out the papers. My eyes skimmed across the papers. The first  began reading was like a entry to a diary or something. 

 "You fall, you stand back up. Sometimes no one's there to give you a hand. You have to face things on your own at some point.

 Depression just doesn't dispear one random day. The person who always has a smile on their face could be slowly breaking apart. Some people do make it obvious, some people don't. Some people act upset for attention, others are at their lowest point. Sometimes you try to act like you're better. But in reality you're really not okay, you're torn to pieces. You have to lie to yourself, and constantly remind yourself that you're happy to actually believe it, temporarily. Some people go towards drugs, some people go towards the razor, some people go to alcohol. Either way you're leaving an emotional, or in some cases physical scar. Something that you will see years from now, it'll take you back to that exact moment. The moment when you were at your lowest point of the night. You would always lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, begging someone to listen to you, someone to make everything better. But no one ever came, never. People came, they gave you a temporary high, but you know for a fact that, that one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. There was times where memories would come back and haunt you, causing you to break down.

You didn't know where or who to run to. You felt like you were trapped in a monster. You were slowly sufficating, soon your air ran out, and you let go of the struggle.

You just stopped caring. You weren't dead phsysically, you were dead mentally. All those memories ment nothing but pain.

 You didn't want things to end this way, not at all. You wanted things to be perfect again. When your Mom and Dad never fought, your whole family was still together.

People talk about how happy someone makes them, you want to warn them, but you know it's not your place to get involved. "

My heart was sinking in my stomach as I read on. Was this really how she felt? So lonely? In so much pain? I felt like I needed to be there for her, sort of like a guardian. I picked up another paper, it seemed like it was lyrics,

"Little girl terrified

She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal

A home is no place to hide

Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels

[CHORUS]

Every day's the same

She fights to find her way

She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray

She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries

Today she's turning sixteen

Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile

They never get past arms length

How could they act like everything is alright?

She's pulling down her long sleeves

To cover all the memories that scars leave

She says, "maybe making me bleed 

will be the answer that could wash the slate clean","

I kept reading on,"