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nineteen.

got me looking so crazy right now
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"so i was thinking about it, maybe i won't be joining your trip to france."

jeno declared, placing his cup of tea gently. he glanced at mark's surprised expression, a blossoming pain in his heart still pounding slightly.

he had chose to back away from mark, to let him go, setting him free. actually, jeno had found it in himself that it was easy to let mark go, surprisingly. maybe it was because he's so used of being rejected. his past experiences have made him almost immune to the pain that would come. he had learn to glued back the pieces of his heart, standing up alone and smiling while he did it all; mark is just like other person.

"oh, why so suddenly?" truthfully, mark was kind of disappointed by the statement. he was waiting to spend his days with jeno but it seems like jeno has found another thing to do. "well i still have a lot to talk about with renjun. our project this time is a big one, you know?" at the mention of renjun's name, jeno smiled.

renjun have been very great with him, treating him lunch and dinner for quite a time, being an amazing partner to collaborate with. jeno found himself comfortable with renjun even though the other dark humor sometimes went overboard.

"bring haechan then. i heard he's done already with the meetings. i'm sure his schedule would be free at the moment."

mark's eyes widened in disbelief as jeno said it. jeno still had a smile on his face and he don't look like he's anything but hating on the name of the younger anymore. mark somehow found out about jeno's kind of antipathy to donghyuck and while it was pathetic, it's also very funny to watch at the same time for him.

"if that's how you want it."

mark said before sipping to his coffee, leaning against the chair of the cafe.

the air was quiet for a while, the sounds of people bustling around, the scratching of chair and clacking plates and glasses filling the void.

jeno just stared at mark's face, admiring the soft features of him when he's in peace. mark was currently looking outside the window, eyes passing through every people that walked outside of the cafe. jeno has always loved mark's eyes. it's so wide, so full of wonder, always filled with mysterious sparks tumbling softly inside those dark pupils that jeno can't help but to try to decipher the meaning of it.

this is the time jeno was indeed jealous of donghyuck, for he got to look at that eyes whenever he wanted. those eyes that would leave smothering pieces of love towards him. it's lovely, really.

"i have something to tell you,"

and maybe with the remaining confidence jeno had inside him, he would pour his feeling out now. mark sat comfortably, arms on the side as he gestured for jeno to continue.

"over these past months, i have come to realised something,"

jeno began yet mark was still smiling at him, urging him silently. mark knew what jeno was going to say, he's waiting for it.

"i think i'm in love with you."

jeno teared his gaze away for a while, biting the inside of his cheek. then he proceeded to look back at mark who was unfazed with the whole confession, as if it was nothing new that he doesn't know.

"at first i just like you for you were nice. i like you because you wasn't like any other people, you were honest and your passion never fail to amaze me. you aren't like others who got close to me to use me after that, it's because you really want me as your friend. i appreciate that, i really do.

then that night when we danced, it felt so right, everything is. both of us being together, it's simply beautiful for me. i realised that i love you that night. i can even kiss you if it wasn't because of you searching for haechan." jeno said, sighing gently.

"i fell for you deeper when you did so many things for me, going with me to lunch, letting me to access with you in every ways. i was so thankful, i really wanted to be with you. i thought you felt the same, that you're probably in love with me too. it's cause, everything was so sincere, your touches, the voice you used to talk to me, i can't explain it.

but even after all of that, i realised that you never love me. you only see me as a best friend and it hurts me. it hurts to never be the one you would thought of in your spare time. you have always love haechan and that, that what made me realised that we won't ever be together. even when you're with me, you're always thinking of him."

jeno shocked himself as he let the words out smoothly, his voice steady and his smile never leaving his face. has he really move on that easily from mark?

"but it's fine. i was never a man to take away someone happiness anyway. i can't force you to love me of course. i saw that haechan also seems to return your feeling too, so it's my time to step back then."

mark was thankful, nothing could ever beat what he felt for jeno now. he was thankful to had someone who understand him so much.

"yeah, i'm sorry for it. it's true that i never see you more than a friend but i'm sorry if i give you like, a fake hope or something. i didn't mean it like that." jeno laughed softly at mark's apologies. he looked like a puppy somehow, with his face making it like he's pouting.

"nah, everything's good. it's okay mark, really." mark looked at jeno once again, trying to search even the smallest bit of lie in it but he never found any of it. jeno was being truthful.

jeno's phone went off as his ringtone filled the air. he looked over the screen, a familiar name appearing on it.

it went for a while before it goes off and jeno huffed under his breath, another smile coming up to his face.

"that's my cue to go. someone needs me." jeno finished the tea, taking out his wallet but mark quickly told him to put it back cause he's treating, smiled gratefully and stood up.

"oh, it seems like our jeno is busy now." mark teased, chuckling at somewhat a flushed jeno.

"see you later, thank you for everything."

then he opened the door, the bell ringing loudly before stepping out.

jeno breathed in the fresh air, stretching his arms. then his phone rang again, this time he accepted it and put it on his ears.

"so, where are we going renjun?"



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extra chapter cause i'm not sleepy

and i had a thought. what if i had a fandom name for my readers, what would it be?

drop your suggestions here shisters

oh and i have a question

how does hyuckhei exist?

i mean, no offence to their shippers but i wanna know how does it happen? i barely see their interactions or maybe it's just me missing out on them but really, i want to know how that ship was born

- tantan

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