CRAZY IN LOVE

27

//; guys i opened up to 8k i am-

twenty seven.

your touch got me looking so crazy right now

_____

donghyuck was stirring his tea when mark came bursting in, the front door opening.

the younger watched questioningly as mark panted, throwing his coat and car keys at the couch before walking closer to him.

when he was standing right infront of donghyuck already, he pulled the the younger to a hug, pulling him tightly. donghyuck that was still in shock state, just let mark embraced him though it was obvious that he was shaking.

it's been quite a while yet donghyuck still found it hard to react to people touching him. it still scared him, he felt paranoid when he's around people which led to him locking himself in his house. it was never better, it just made him loathe himself so hard and beating himself over the fact again and again. donghyuck would let his own self to be drowned in self-hatred, guilt and regret, despite everyone around him telling it was not his fault.

sometimes he would go out - a rare occasion - but he needs to do groceries shopping too if he really wanted to spend most of his time in his house. it wasn't as horrible as it used to be. before, he would covered himself in layers of clothes, making sure to hide his face and never go to somewhere that had too many places. he would stay away from anyone for few centimeters at least, never too close for his own sake. he wouldn't want to create any unnecessary attention if he ever found himself in trouble.

once, it went horrible.

donghyuck was at one of the supermarket when a sale was happening. it was a promotion for one of the brand. donghyuck who knew nothing about it, only stared at those people scattering everywhere around that stall. he was near the stall but still made sure to keep his distance, until one woman pushed him forward, which led him to get forced into the sea of people.

that set him into a panicking state. even with clothes covering him, there's too many people surrounding him and too many hands around him, though it was unintentional. it brought back the memories of that night when one of the body got pushed to back, him stumbling to stabilize himself.

his mind was dizzy at the close distance of humans to him, his body shaking as more keep coming and he almost cried when people started noticing how he literally trying to push everyone, few angry shouts telling him for being rude.

thankfully, he was saved when someone pulled him hardly, tugging onto his sleeve as the other brought him out from the other people. before he even realize, tears were already running down his face. here he was, crying infront of a stranger. it made him felt so terrible and bad, but the stranger just smiled at him. donghyuck choked out a soft 'thank you' despite his sobbing, the other introducing himself as jaemin before telling him to take care.

now, donghyuck was hesitating before bringing his arms to returned mark's hug, putting the older to a surprise. mark just smiled and sighed in the scent of the younger, patting his head softly.

"i miss you hyuck."

donghyuck was now leaning to mark, letting his head to rest on mark's shoulder. closing his eyes, he took in the way the older was trying so much to not hug him too tight and makes him uncomfortable. that made the younger emotional and touched at the same time.

mark was always there for him, yet he was never there when the older needs him.

has it really been donghyuck's fault all this time?

"let me help you,"

mark's low voice made donghyuck opened his eyes, his sight fluttering at the fond gaze staring down to him. he still haven't say anything, only letting mark to continue. "i want to help you, i want to make you feel better hyuck."

donghyuck's grip at the shirt of the older tightening, his heart somehow heavy on his chest.

"i want you to know that it's not your fault, it never is. i realized that all this time, i never try to understand what you feel for real. it was all about wanting to make you like before, but never once do i consider your real feeling. now that i know, please give me a chance to take care of you properly."

the younger noticed the crack in mark's voice, the forlorn tone as he kep talking, despite the tears pooling by his eyes.

"i-i just want you to feel normal again. i don't want, don't want you to feel horrible. i just want you to be happy again, us to be good again. it's frustrating to see you being like this, i don't know what to do. i need you to be with me, p-please hyuck, i need y-you to help me, help me to make you feel amazing again."

donghyuck stared at the single tear coming down from mark's eyes, the shaky breath of his, the trembling hands that was holding himself up and the quivering lips as mark pressed their forehead together. taking a deep breath, mark tried to force down the sobs stuck on his throat.

"please, let me help you donghyuck."

_____

welcome back to me again,,,, oops

wow it's only the first week of school and i never wish of dropping out from school more than anything now

but i would be ending this book soon, it's been dragged for too long already and i don't like having a book that was on hiatus and unfinished so yeah, i'll make sure to end this book around this month

oh and i'm being stupid once again

the plan is for me to end this first before starting to write that one

so expect some good soulmate au that i enjoy there!

- tantan