Shawn Mendes Interracial Imagines(request open forever ; P)

Trapped in our minds

excuse the typos guys, i just really wanted to get this out to y'all. i'll fix it later 💖❄️
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I sighed as I laid my head on the cold glass window of shawn's car. The rain trickled down the glass leaving clear streaks behind. This day was like any other day in canada.

Cold, foggy, and either raining and snowing. And everyone stayed so far from each other. Basically isolating themselves.

I missed being back home
in LA. The California sun, bright colors, warm air, and fire flies lighting up the woods by my parents' house.

Well, my mama's place at least. My dad died five years ago when I was 14. I still missed it though. I had no idea I would miss it this much though, after leaving to Canada with Shawn, I slowly grew home sick. But Shawn felt home sick in America and wanted to go back to Canada to be with his family.

I only left with him because I love him, and want him to have everything he ever wanted. His career, family, and to start his own, with me.

I know, I'm only 18. I'll be turning 19
next month in January. I'm still so young and I don't even have my life together. I haven't yet applied to any colleges or universities. I have no job, Shawn would rather me stay home to watch over the kids. I also don't think I want kids. I'm just a kid myself.

"What's the matter with you?" Shawn asked with plenty of attitude.

His voice ripped me from my heavy thoughts and back to bitter reality. We were arguing for the 6th time this week.

Its thursday, and yes I've kept count.

I just shook my head and leaned forward to turn up the radio. My body instantly relaxed when so heard Khalid's voice singing his verse from Electric. I adored his voice, and the song.

I closed my eyes and sat back in my seat.

The song was instantly turned off.

My eyes shot opened and darted to Shawn. He was sneaking a few glances at me and re directing his attention to the road.

"I was listening to that, asshole."
I hissed.

"And I-was talking to you." he rose his voice slightly.

"Shawn I'm done talking, I'm done reasoning, i'm done arguing," I reached to turn the radio back on.

He shot his hand out and gripped my wrist firmly, but not too much to where he would hurt me. Just enough to take me by surprise.

He normally wouldn't grab me like that when he was mad. He never touched me while we were arguing before,
period.

"No, y/n. you brought this up so now we are going to continue 'talking, reasoning, and arguing.'"

"All I said was that I don't think moving to Canada would be wise for my career, Shawn. You know how important acting and dancing is to me."

"Yes, baby. I do. But how are you going to have time to do that and take care of our children?"

I almost choked on thin air. The absurdity of his question just didn't sit to well with me. almost like me having his children wouldn't be a choice.

"How do you know that I would want to throw away my life to take care of YOUR kids."

"They won't be just my kids."
he answered defensively.

"Well fuck, they might as well be since everything is all about you. Your career, your family, your fucking dream come true," he stayed silent and clenched his jaw. I took that as an opportunity to finally get everything off of my chest.

"That's not what I want Shawn. I want to have my own career too, a successful one. I don't like depending on other people. I don't want to depend on you how my mom depended on my dad. after he passed all of his debt and fees were dumped on her. and on top of that she had to use every single penny she had to pay for his funeral. the IRS took her car and the house from her. She was left with nothing. Because she never had anything to her name to begin with. And about the kids, how ever many you're requesting from my fucking body, we can hire someone that we trust to take care of them while we're working."

There. It was all out now. I laid down everything that was on my mind, bare for him to see.

I watched his eyes as they furrowed. I could tell he was frantically searching his mind for something to say.

"Anything you want to say?" I asked, to receive no answer. I sighed and sat back in my seat. My eyes left his face and studied the many tall pine trees fading in and out as we sped past them.

They seemed to become less and less blurry, then I realized the car was slowing down.

I looked over to Shawn confused once the car came to a complete stop. He switched the gear to park.
He ran his finer through his dark curls before looking at me. The sight of his glassy eyes made my heart jump.

"Baby..is that really how you feel?"
he asked. I chewed my bottom lip trying to think of what to say.

"Never mind what I said Shawn. I've just been trapped in my mind lately and never realized how selfish I sounded." My eyes started to burn slightly. I was about to start crying.

I let my head hang low. Shawn's warm hand gently cupped my face lifting it up.

His eyes poured into my own. His thumb wiped away a tear that I didn't realize had fallen.

"Hey, don't cry baby. I love you."
he cooed.

"I don't like it when you cry." he added.

I pulled away and wiped my eyes as dry as I could . "I know you're upset, but it's not something that's impossible to fix. We're communicating here, and that means a lot. That's the first step in fixing any bad situation in a relationship, or anything really."

He rubbed my shoulder.

"Let's talk about it when we get home, okay?"

"Yeah.." I sniffed. "That sounds good."

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whewww...chileee! I'm so tired it's like 1:00am and i've been writing this since 11:30pm (i take forever with these things) as you can see🙃🙃🙃my three month hiatus is up. I'm feeling a lot better and i'm doing a lot better, mentally. my grades still need a little work but trust and believe that i'm on that like white i'm rice. 😘‼️ also i wanted to thank you guys for the support. all the reads, comments, and votes mean a lot to me. especially the comments 😂😂😂😂😂you guys crack me up. but should i make a part two to this? i think i know what would happen i'm part two. but yeah just lemme know something💜👍🏽

i love you guys🤪💯💖never forget that. and with that i'm signing off✍🏽💋

•A👣💚