Fly Me To The Moon

Chapter 27

Dick's hands shook as I told him a fabricated story as to why I lost my baby. I said I slipped while walking at the hotel and that's when it happened.

He cried, realizing what he thought to be his child was gone. And he held me close as we mourned together.

We'd lay in bed for hours, just thinking about what happened. Jack gave me unlimited leave from work, and told me I could come back whenever I feel fit.

Marilyn Monroe wrote me a letter and gave it to Jack to give to me. In it, she expressed her deepest condolences. She also said that she too had experienced miscarriages in the past, and it is one of the hardest things a woman could go through.

Of course, I had to hide that letter from Dick. He didn't know I'd met Marilyn Monroe.

I felt horrible for holding all of these secrets from Dick. I knew he loved me in the most purest way. He cooked for me, and insisted I got all the rest I needed. He bought me vitamins, and gave me foot massages. He rubbed my stomach, and cried as he rested his hand on the vacant womb.

Jack would beep me late at night, and I'd sneak downstairs to see him. He was obviously self medicating, and was using any kind of pill he could get his hand on. He had a glossiness to his eyes that showed The President I knew had left.

He was a shell of a man.

"Janis, I cant stop thinking about what happened." Jack said in a weak voice. "All I think about is the fact that you could've been at home safe. And yet you were out there with me."

"It's okay," I quietly said.

"It's not okay, Janis. It's not." Jack insisted, his words slurred. "I'm a horrible man. I'm a nitty gritty, no good man."

"You have a heart, Jack. You care about people, and I know that. The world knows that. That's why we love you." I told him.

He shuffled his feet, and rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed like he had something to say, but he couldn't find the words to say it. He slightly rocked, his balance off from all the opioids running through his system.

"Jackie is pregnant." He said as we stood outside in front of his car. "I'm having another child."

My heart hurt, knowing another woman was going to provide Jack with a child. It also hurt knowing that Jack would immediately welcome that child into this world because it was his wife.

He didn't want mine until it was gone.

"How about you come out with me, Janis? We can have a night on the town." He smiled. I thought for a moment, and then I looked up at the tall building I lived in with Dick.

I realized I was a much stronger woman than the little girl I was when I arrived here. Sure, JFK was president— he was powerful, rich and charming. But he was miserable.

I wanted happiness, and I noticed I was happiest with Richard.

"No thanks." I smiled. "I'm fine. Thank you."

The smile faded from his face and I turned to begin walking away.

"So this is it?" Jack asked. I turned back around to him, and gave him one last look. "Yes, Jack. I'm through."

I happily turned around and made my way back to my apartment. When I opened the apartment door, the lights were on in the living room and Dick sat there.

"Is it over?" He asked. I stood there nervously, and shut the door behind me.

"Is what over?" I asked quietly. Dick stood up from that couch and turned to me. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants.

"I've  always known." Dick told me. "And I always wondered when the day would come that you'd leave him."

He walked up the steps from his couch and stood in front of me. "Always disappearing at night, I thought you just had another man." He said.

"But no, I'd sneak to the window and peak through the blinds. And there he'd be, with all his men."

A tear fell down my cheek. "Why didn't you say anything, Dick?"

"Because I love you, and I believed you'd come around eventually." He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "And even if you didn't, I wouldn't care. I'd still stick by you."

"How long have you known?" I asked him.

"...Since I got suspended for making love to a colleague and she came out unscathed." Dick said with a smirk and I laughed. The great thing about Dick and I is that we were able to laugh at our past together.

"I saw you turn around towards this apartment tonight, and you didn't at all give in to him." Dick said. "I stayed quiet because I'm not a fool. I didn't want him knowing I knew and having my head served up on a platter."

I laughed at his comment and he smiled down at me.

"Thanks for coming around, Janis." He said quietly and kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we kissed.

He held my hand, and the two of us walked into our bedroom together. There, we'd sleep wrapped in each other's arms. And it was filled with a love that my relationship with Jack lacked.