Fly Me To The Moon

Chapter 29

I stood there in Washington as I watched Jackie walk from The White House down to her husband's funeral.

She was so strong, with her veil covering her somber face she walked like a warrior. I went to the White House with Dick to help him clean out his desk.

He decided he was through with politics, and that he was going back to college for finance. He figured he'd do better in that field than politics.

The White House got silent as Jackie returned. I didn't dare go up to her. Others gave their condolences.

I wondered how many people said sorry to her that day. How many times was she forced to be reminded of her husband's fate?

But Dave Powers came up to me. He had bags under his eyes, obviously under the stress of losing a friend. He pulled me to the side to speak to me.

"The First L— Mrs. Kennedy would like to speak to you." He told me. I was shocked, and filled with fear. What would she want to do with me? "She'll be waiting for you in her office.

I slowly walked up to her office, and she sat there in her black suit. She still had on her mourning veil.

"Sit." She told me bluntly. I walked to the couch she sat on and sat next to her. I looked at her, and her face was totally emotionless under that veil.

It was silent for a moment, and I waited for her to say something.

"I give you my condolences, Mrs. Kennedy." I told her. She looked to me, the black veil still covering her face.

"Do you know why I haven't spoke?" She asked me. In her eyes you could see a pool of emotions, but she was all cried out. She didn't frown, she didn't smile, she didn't cry. She was just two dimensional.

I cleared my throat. "Why is that?"

"Because I want to make you as uncomfortable as you made me for the last few months." She answered. I was quiet. "Do you know how much time I lost with my husband because he spending it with you?"

I didn't know how to react. I looked down at my lap, not daring to look her in the face. I held back tears.

"He was 46 years old! It wasn't his time! And yet for some reason the world did everything in its power to take him from me. With the women, with the drugs, with the mafia. And you had a part in that." She told me angrily.

I still didn't know what to say.

"And now you have the audacity to step foot in my home again on the day of my husband's funeral?" She asked angrily, raising her voice. I'd never heard Mrs. Kennedy yell, she practically spoke in a whisper. But now she was flaming angry, and I couldn't bring myself to cope with it.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs Kennedy." I said in a weak voice, finally looking into her eyes while holding back tears. "But I don't know what you're speaking about."

She lifted her hand that was covered in a black glove, and slapped it right to my face. I held my flaming cheek now, and cried out. I couldn't hold in my tears any longer.

"How dare you!" She shouted. "How dare you lie to my face one last time when my husband is dead!"

I cried out even more.

"He's dead, Janis! You don't have to be his lying whore anymore." She told me angrily. I cried and covered my face with my hands, crying some more.

"Go ahead. Bawl your eyes out. That isn't going to bring him back for either of us." She said angrily. "I've seen him with many women. I've always played the role of the patient wife, trying to make his life easy for him. Trying to stay quiet because I know his job is so hard!"

I looked up at her, my cheeks filled with tears.

"And yet I'd never met a jezebel that he's brought in here as horrible as you." She told me angrily.

"I'm so sorry, Jackie." I cried out.

"Don't you dare call me Jackie." She corrected me. "That is a name used by friends and familiars. To me, you are nothing. To me, you're just a whore that my husband ruthlessly used."

"I was going to have his child!" I shouted at her. Jackie lifted her veil, and stared at me. A tear finally fell down her face. "I lost it after your husband took me to Frank Sinatra's house."

Jackie stood up, and straightened her clothes.

"Get out." She told me. "I never want to see your courtesan face again."

That day, I walked out of Jackie Kennedy's office with tears running down my face. And I left the White House never to return again.

I visited Jack's burial site, and stood there in front of it. I kneeled on my knees, while a few other people were mourning along with me. The only different is that I knew him. I was in love with him.

I touched his tombstone and cried out. Then I looked beside him and saw a tinier tomb stone that read Patrick Bouvier Kennedy.

I only visited Jack's grave once in my life. It was too hard to ever return.