"hey, i get it, shawn. i have always been your number one supporter when it comes to music. go kill it in LA, okay? i love you, no matter what, you're my best friend before anything else."
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july 7th, 2018
i looked down at the facebook notification alerting me of my memories, from 5 years ago, today. the day my best friend, and first love all in one body left.
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Kennedy Rose: gonna miss you like crazy, go kill it rockstar. i want front row when you sell out arenas one day!! i love u <3
that day changed everything between shawn and i. as much as i wish we could've stayed the way we were, we were just teenagers who grew apart. shawn was my best friend for years before we decided to admit our feelings and become a couple. he was my first kiss, boyfriend, and love. we practically grew up together. very few high school couples stay together, and we were one of the many that went up in flames the day he left for LA to pursue his music. we promised each other we'd remain friends, no matter how far apart we were, how busy i got with school, or how famous he got, we would always be there for each other. i wish he kept his side of the promise.
it's been over a year since shawn and i last spoke. he was great at keeping in touch for awhile, texting me at least every other day. then, it slowly started to fade each time he would release a project, attend an award show, go on tours, or hang out with his new celebrity friends. i would text or call him every now and then, with my calls being sent to voicemail and my messages left on delivered. after awhile, i gave up.
iMessage
Kennedy Rose: you're literally killing it right now!! i am so proud of u my rockstar
Delivered
Kennedy Rose: just watched you on the AMA's!! i am fhddhdfkhvfoh, we talked about this when you were 12!! miss u, call me soon :)
Delivered
Kennedy Rose: do you even get these texts anymore? i miss you, we all do!
Delivered
Kennedy Rose: happy birthday shawn, miss you, love you no matter what!!
Delivered
Kennedy Rose: you really are a rockstar now, huh? i don't know why this text feels like a goodbye. but i truly never saw this day coming. the day you were too famous for your 'best friend'. life happens, i guess. i am genuinely so happy for you shawn. i love you, always. go rock it. thank you for being the best memories.
Delivered
shawn is currently on another tour, headlining arenas all over the country. one thing he always told me was if he ever got big enough to sell out The Garden that i would be front and center. cheering him on. well, he's playing that show in 4 weeks, and we haven't talked in a year & a half.
part of me wants to show up to support him from afar, so i could keep my end of one of our many promises, but, part of me wants to let him go. i wish i could let him go as easy as he did me. unfortunately, something about not only your best friend, but first love, makes it even more difficult to cut the string. i still have hope that he'll magically text me one of these days, apologizing for his distance and everything will go back to normal with us. but, deep down, i know we'll never be like that again. i have to let shawn mendes go.
