You were happy

Pt2

You double checked yourself in the mirror and made a face. Sometimes it was better to just not look and keep pretending that what you looked like really didn't matter. After all, you were just going to your best friend's birthday party (sponsored by BigHit so it would be full of celebs and want-to-be-celebs). Not like the whole freaking world was going to see you looking like an absolute wreck. No big deal.
With a sigh you opened your bedroom door to the scene of BTS' maknae lying on the couch, tossing one of your decorative pillows up in the air and catching it before it could hit his face. When he saw you he sat up quickly, breaking out into a grin. "You look like you're ready to steal some hearts."
"Oh please, in a room full of celebrities this friend of BTS' is going to look like commoner trash." You smoothed out the bottom hem of your dress, being once again reminded how damn short and tight the thing was. "It really doesn't look bad?"
Taehyung (who had been rifling through your photo albums-his favorite past time at your apartment) snorted. "Are you stupid or something? The mere ground you walk on is on fire."
You let out a snorting laugh, looking the boys up and down. "You guys aren't too shabby yourselves, got plans to pick up girlfriends yourself?"
Jungkook rolled his eyes and busied himself with your pillow again while Taehyung gave you those damn eyes that would make any girl fall for him in an instant. You had to admit; even your knees were a little weak. Too bad your heart was still fully occupied by Jimin. "Maybe I am, but what's it to you-curious to fill the spot?"
You snatched the pillow out of the air from Jungkook and chucked it at Taehyung with a baseball pitch that wasn't even worthy of a little league.
"Just for that you're buying me my first shot tonight."
You knew by his forced smile that he didn't want you drinking tonight. It was like he knew what would happen. But, you also knew he would let you do as you pleased just to see you in a better mood; because he knew there was no way in hell you were going to make it through the night if you didn't have something in your hand.
He and Jungkook had this weird telepathic conversation as you stood there with your arms crossed. That was when you knew that they also weren't going to leave you alone tonight. They worried too much about you, but you supposed you'd always worried about them in return. At least some feelings were mutual.
You gaze softened and you stretched your arms out for the boys with wiggling fingers, signaling for them to come to you. You bit back a chuckle as they scrambled to wrap themselves in your arms, they couldn't seem to reach you fast enough. Taehyung had always sworn up and down that you gave the best hugs in the universe. This one was a bit more awkward since there were two full-grown (why were they so much taller than you?) men that you had to force to bend to your tippy toed height. You held the back of their heads to your shoulders, rubbing your fingers through their hair. Their stylist would have a field day with you tomorrow.
"You guys are literally the best, you know that?" You could feel your voice shaking and you felt them wrap their arms around you in an attempt to keep your tears in. "Why do you deal with my shit all the time?"
"Because that's what you do when you care about someone. You always do the same for us." Taehyung whispered against your collar bone. Remembering the time he was in your place and you'd burst through their dorm room door with your scarf flapping behind you like a cape. You'd come prepared with an entire box of his favorite pastries and a marathon of super hero movies that Jungkook had picked out.
"You always bring us food, and help us with our work, and stay up late to watch us practice. It's only fair." Jungkook chuckled, pulling away from you to ruffle your hair-which was funny since you're supposed to be older than him.
"Plus you're loads of fun when you're not intoxicated." You jabbed Taehyung's ribs at his comment.
"Sorry but you're not getting me sober tonight no matter how much you try."
"I know." He wraps his arms around your shoulders, leading you to the door. "But I can worry anyways."
"Your fans are going to kill me when you go gray early."
~.~
You didn't expect this to be anything like the parties you and Jimin had as a kid. There weren't gaudy balloons and tightly strapped on hats, nor was there any sort of party games to immerse yourself in other than drinking and talking to fellow lonely folks. There were no streamers either, only flashing lights and loud music.
You were further reminded of this the second the doors opened to the huge club room packed with people. Hell it was exclusive to the point you had to be an idol, on his invite list, or a registered plus one.
Eyes turned to the entrance as you stepped in, but you were pretty sure it was mostly due to the fact that you had two of the maknae line standing on either side of you. They kept their hands floating around your elbows in an attempt to get you to move faster in your tall heels. You would have given them crap for it if it wasn't for the fact that Taehyung would tell you that if he could dance in them you could walk.
They led you further into the room, starting for the dance floor. It was like they knew you wanted to do everything else except for hunt down Jimin. Jungkook took you as his partner first, since it looked like Taehyung was caught by a few girl group members who declared themselves huge fans of him. It seemed the boy was determined to make sure you had as much fun as possible tonight as he pulled you into a twirl accompanied by a light dip.
You were not a dancer in the least and he let out a laugh when you almost slid to your ass on the ground. Jimin had danced a lot with you, but it was mostly you doing some sort of strange butt shake accompanied by endless fist pumping. You could really relate to Jin at moments like this (god he would kill you for just the simple thought of that).
"Those girls are real cute!" You shouted over the music, using his arm as a tether to pull yourself up to a stable position on your feet. "Don't you want to talk to them too? All the girls I know are such Kookie fans!"
He shook his head, his eyes doing a sweep of the dance floor before he spun you around quickly until you were in the exact position he wanted. Then his hands rested on your hips, rocking you back and forth to the beat. He was always real good at making you dance even when you were incapable of it. Sometimes, with his extreme assistance, you even looked like you were capable of following a groove.
"I'd rather spend my time dancing with you."
"Awww." You flicked his nose on the backend of the beat. "Does our little Kookie have a crush on me?"
His hands tightened on your hips; guiding you into the dance with such furor you knew he was annoyed. It made a giggle burst past your lips, getting worse as he tickled your sides in the process. He wouldn't let you escape so easily though, he kept torturing you as he moved you around the dance floor ruthlessly. After about two minutes of this you finally caved into an apology, clinging onto his shoulders for dear life with laughter. Your heart felt the lightest it'd felt in a long time.
Well, until you saw Jimin and his girlfriend dancing a few feet away from you two.
He was also laughing, but it wasn't because of you or even with you. It was because of his beautiful girlfriend with her doe eyes and plump lips. His hips were pressed up against her while her arms slung over his shoulders. They were so close to each other that they were nose to nose and you were amazed two people could be at such a distance without kissing.
Jungkook looked over his shoulder to follow your gaze, quickly spinning the two of you around so that your back was to them. He seemed to still be looking over your shoulder, but he kept moving with you so you couldn't see what he was looking at. All you could see was the tight clench of his jaw and his hand as it came around to keep your face pressed into his shoulder. He seemed so mad yet his voice was so gentle when he spoke. "I'm sorry; I thought if I was blocking them you wouldn't be able to see."
You smiled into the fabric of his blazer. "I know." You didn't want to burden him with the sudden tightness of your heart, so you peeled yourself off of him. "I'm going to go get a drink." At his look you altered your sentence. "Of water, it's freaking hot in here you know."
"You'll be back, right?"
"I will definitely need another dance, I promise." You pushed off into the crowd before he could stop you. It wasn't a lie, you would want another dance. Just not right now. You knew very well that the boys were going to playing tag team with you all night so you weren't left alone. They wouldn't want you to feel like you didn't deserve to be here. But, until you rode home, you wanted them to have as much fun as possible without worrying about your mental state. You'd relied on them too much lately, becoming such a selfish wreck that took up all their free time. This was just an attempt to make up for it by excusing yourself from their party life tonight.
Besides, with so many people that would want to talk to them, it would become difficult for them to keep track of you.
You found the bar easily enough, perching yourself on one of the stools while the party thumped by around you. You'd have to leave this safe zone eventually because this would be one of the first places the boys would look for you, but for now you ordered a drink.
This was where a man had found you.
You had to admit that he was handsome as hell: a perfect jaw line that led up to plump lips and that perfect nose that drew into chasm deep eyes. You would have fallen for him if you were much shallower. He looked at you with a smirk as you finished your appraisal. It nearly brought a blush to your cheeks to note that he too was looking you up and down, particularly lingering on the dip of your dress before landing squarely on your face.
"So, how do you know Jimin?" He asked as the bartender slid him his drink. Even how his fingers curled around the glass was handsome.
You were pretty shameless; right now all you wanted was someone to heal your heart. Whether it was for a night or for a lifetime didn't really matter much. You took a sip of your drink slowly, licking your lips before pulling them back into a smile. "We're childhood friends." God you hoped your voice didn't sound strained. "How about you, how do you know the birthday boy?"
He leaned in towards you. "A little secret, I'm a plus one for my friend-so I don't actually know who he is other than the fact that he's someone famous." He glanced at the curve of your legs. "And he has such a beautiful girl at the ready." He flashed his pearly teeth at you. "Lucky man."
You bit your lip. "Ah, now I don't know about that. I'm not even an idol."
"A model then?"
"You flatter me." You took another sip of your drink about to stick out your hand to introduce yourself before you felt a hand on your shoulder.
You turned to face the topic of conversation tonight-Jimin. Even better was the gorgeous specimen of a woman holding onto the crook of his elbow as he smiled at you.
Ah, hell no. Not now.
"Hana this is Y/N, Y/N this is Hana." He gestured between you two as if nothing was wrong and he hadn't just interrupted your conversation.
You ignored him completely, turning your concentration to the girl. It wasn't her fault you were Jimin at last, all she had done was fall in love with him-she had more of a right to do so than you. "Omigosh." You breathed, hoping that you sounded as sincere as you felt. "Jimin seriously doesn't do you justice. You are too freaking gorgeous to be dating an idiot like him." You laughed, holding your hands out in front of you. "Sorry, I'm pretty horrible at introductions and that sounded back. As Jimin said, I'm Y/N, and I promise that me and this goof are strictly just friends." Your heart lurched to just say the words, but it felt a bit easier with the twinge of whiskey you'd dumped into your stomach.
She laughed back, nearly pushing Jimin out of the way to talk to you. "You're too kind really, but I'm not like the other girls Jiminie here has dated, he told me the fun times he's had trying to explain that his best friend is a girl. He also never told me how pretty and kind she was-no wonder women ran for the hills after meeting you."
Oh and she's the utter angel too, let me hate myself some more while I drown in my sorrows.
You started telling her all the embarrassing stories you could think of, enjoying hearing her laugh to each and every one. She really was a sweet girl-she didn't deserve your hate. Hell, she didn't deserve you even being in the picture but here she was accepting you anyways.
Damnit Jimin, why couldn't you bring me a girl I could hate?
Finally she excused herself when she saw one of her favorite bands enter the party, Jimin kissing her on her cheek with a laugh.
"Don't go falling in love with them now."
She pecked his lips. "Only you, Jagi." And with that she was gone, leaving a huge open wound where your heart used to be, you turned back to the man and your drink-surprised to find he was still there and watching you with amusement.
"Sorry about that." You flashed him a brilliant smile before you felt your chair being forcibly turned back to face the ignored Jimin. You glared at him as his eyes frittered to the man behind you. Jimin jerked his head to the side, his own anger reflecting in his eyes. You turned your head as the man bowed his head to you with a wink, walking away to some other part of the party that wasn't next to you.
You frowned, kicking his shin until he released your stool and allowed you to turn back to your drink. You chugged it in anger. "What the hell was that for?"
"I didn't like the look of him."
Like you have a right to me. "I am none of your concern, Park Jimin." You were annoyed, heartbroken and ready to have a raging headache in the morning. You didn't want to remember a single moment from tonight-you were so done with Jimin's shit.
"You're my best friend; you're plenty of my concern." He tried to get you to look at him, but you refused.
Instead you scoffed, smiling as a thanks to the bartender as he gave you your next alcoholic serving. "I don't think we can call each other that." You were starting to feel a buzz, but it wasn't enough for you so you started to work on the drink.
"Why do you say that?"
You finally turned your gaze to him, tilting back since his head was so close to yours in his attempt to gain your attention. You searched his face for something of the man you had originally fallen in love with, but you didn't even know if it was there anymore. This man didn't even know you. You spent more time with Tae and Jungkook than you spent with him-texting and all. He was slowly becoming a stranger who thought you were friends. He didn't even remember your birthday and he couldn't even be bothered to check up on you every now and then. If you hadn't forced yourself to try and keep in touch with him then he would have cut you loose long ago. How freaking stupid were you to love a man like that?
"Do you even know me anymore?" You whispered, nearly begging him to convince you otherwise.
"Of course, you're my best friend. How can I not?"
"What's my favorite color?"
He blanched, knowing very well that your color favorite color changed like the wind. He hadn't talked to you enough to know the answer at this very moment-something he was fluent in back before he'd started dating. "Something easier."
"When's my birthday?" You sipped at your drink, your words starting to finally slur. You watched his face, the last strands of hope slipping from you at his expression.
With the sudden realization of just how much he'd missed he tried to reach for your hand. You yanked away from him quickly, sitting as far away as you could from him on the small surface of your barstool. "Y/N-"
You cut him off. "You going to marry her?" It came out fuzzy to your ears.
He must have heard you slur your words because he was suddenly examining you closer. "Are you drunk?" He tilted his head to get a better look. "And you were about to let that man take advantage of you!" Great, now you were both pissed for utterly stupid reasons.
"I've got to be drunk to be able to even look at you!" You clenched your hands into fists. "And what I do does not concern you!"
"What the hell?" He cocked his head at you. "What are you even saying? Of course it concerns me!"
"I don't matter to you Jimin, I never even did." All your pent up anger, sadness and heartbreak were releasing at once in your horribly drunken stupor. You just wanted the hell out, you wanted to run away like the coward you were. You attempted to brush past him but his hand snapped out to grab your wrist. "I gotta go." You snapped.
He pulled you to him. "Y/N, wait. Please-talk to me."
"No." You snapped yourself out of his grip. "I don't want to. I'm done waiting for me to matter to you, Park Jimin."
"What the hell are you saying? You're not even speaking properly."
You gave in. After years and years and years of holding in your feelings for him, after all of the tears, the frustration, the relying on others to help you feel better you gave up all in one drunken stupor. "I'm in love with you Jimin-I have been for a long time."
But you weren't prepared for his words, they took the last shreds of the world that you'd held around you and shoved them into the ground.
"I know." He winced at himself. "I knew this whole time-I just...I wanted...I didn't want to ruin this. I just, I can't love you like that, Y/N."