Prologue

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                                                             Prologue

 

I feel his arms wrap around me gently, the warmth seeping into my skin. His heartbeat is fast against my ear, though he has a calm façade. The air is cold and biting, sending needles into my exposed skin. I bury my face in his chest, closing my eyes.

            My skin smells like the earth, and I pick at the blood underneath my fingernails. The feel of his fingers digging into my lower back is the only thing that keeps my mind on this moment.

            I grip his hand tightly as he says, “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

            I shake my head. “No, I do. I don’t have a choice.”

            I can barely see his face in the darkness, but I’m aware of his eyes on my face, pleading with me. He bites his lower lip, resting his face on my neck. “Yes you do. Everyone always has a choice. And you could choose to stay here, with me.”

            He hurts me so much inside that I have to look away. “You know that I can’t. I don’t have a choice. I’ve never had a choice.”

            His fingers linger on my chin, tilting it up so that I have to look at him. I don’t have a choice, about any of this. I never would have chosen any of this for myself― not even him, now that I know that I won’t be able to stay.

            “Then, please, let me have one last kiss.” I feel tears threatening to spill over.

            I nod slowly. “A kiss goodbye.” I murmur, and then his lips are on mine, and his taste explodes in my mouth. I want to stay like this forever, but it’s much too selfish of me. I have something that I have to do, and it requires leaving him behind me. Forever.

            I entangle my fingers in his short light brown hair, pressing myself closer until our bodies are molded together. His hands grip my waist, wrinkling the fabric of my shirt. I feel the tears spilling over, and I can’t fight them. I break away, and pull myself away from him. I run the back of my hand along my face to wipe the salty tears away, which just makes my sight blurry.

            I take one last look at him before I open the door, trying to burn his dark image into my mind. Forever.

            I close the door behind me and stand there, arms spread out on either side of me. I make sure to lock the door behind me, so that no one can get in the room― or get out for the time being. I close my eyes, and I see his face in my mind.

            A searing pain races across my skin, and I scream.

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