The last kiss

Explorer🍒

That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No)
But you won't let me
You upset me, girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long, that's wrong

For the longest a nigga tried, I really thought I did. Watching her by the beach sitting on the hood of my car. The wind continued to blew in different direction as her hair flew in the opposite direction. It was then I knew she wanted love, something that I was constantly battling with. Me, doing everything wrong yet; she somehow still had me in ways I'd never thought of. My hands slid at the bottom of her ass touching  grabbing her hips going back up  standing in between my thighs. Her lips was what I needed as I planted my mines on hers hugging her in the warmth of my love.

"It was yours..." she pondered kissing me in return.

The sudden beat of my heart remorselessly flip and flop, the riddim was not something I knew of nor it had been awoken since the death of my very best friend when she said it was mine. It was then I knew I was a father to a child that's no longer here on earth with us. The silence between us kept going as tears flew down on her pearly cheeks, so much that being in shock I wasn't able to comfort her or even try to calm her down.

" D-did you say...?" I questioned not really sure of how to form words that got stuck right at my tongue

Nodding her head Tamara hugged me tight, the two large hands of mine stood up in the air still trying to process the information that was give to me, then finally I hugged her tightly. Not scarring, or alarming her but now she needed me more than ever.

"Don't cry, but when the time comes then we make a family of our own" I managed to say remotely

The effect of not having your child faintly on destroy our soul, the fact it was taken away from us made it even worse and harder as Tamara continue to mourn in my neck not caring about the romantic scenery. Sniffing uncontrollably, I then closed my eyes as my body leaned backwards while pulling her up on top of me listening to her heartbeat feeling surrounded by the angel of death.

For a moment I was not so strong, not so tough, not so whatever I was to her. The new attitude makes me weak, just another nigga  on a list that thought he was perfect. This imperfectly world taught me so much with Sheryl on my mind, Rushaad and now Tamara was becoming a task in my life. Somehow the sky seemed nothing but whitish puffy pink strides along the atmosphere as I reflect on my children. " If you think... handling me is something you don't see you-

Tamara head flew right up staring at me, not sure if I had said something bad but it got me alarmed. Looking  away from her sparkly eyes only to feel the softness of her hands pulling my chin and face back to her beautiful face.

" It Doesn't matter what you do, you're still my brother-

Sucking my teeth in frustration, I pulled away from her tender hands looking away from afar. It sounded so real yet I was unsure of where we even stand at this point in our relationship. It was like I was losing more than her being my step sister but more like a soulmate.

" Lucas, listen to me please.. please! You're still the love of my life so therefore don't say I can't handle you. It's just that I needed you to work that behavior it's like you turned into something you're not. Now I know Kurtis death was something we both didn't see coming but he's in a better place. If that's what bothering you and affecting you mentally then you can always talk to me but no need to do things you used to do years ago. Like cheating or even try to kill Jhavar" she spoke raising her eyebrows at me.