[discontinued] colour my world ; minsung

13 thinking

since jisung knew about minho's soulmate, he didn't know where to put his feelings. he couldn't quite decide if he was sad or happy or if it was even anything similar to it, so he decided to get some time off to think about it.

he sat down in a cozy café for students at a booth for one person only. he brought his notebook with him for emergency purposes and to look more like someone that actually had a reason to be at the café. he sipped his caramel flavoured latte macchiato before setting it down again. he warmed his hands on it as he stared down at the warm and foamy drink.

pretending that it wasn't already all he had done before, he finally let his thoughts roam around and drift to minho.

when minho had a soulmate, it meant that he could see colours. but his soulmate was dead.
jisung thought about how the other boy felt now. if he often felt lonely? empty? maybe the both of them were more similar than jisung thought sometimes.

the older jisung had gotten, the sadder he had become.
he was a very happy kid. he always managed to make his parents smile and they could make him into a fit of giggles in the span of seconds. back then, he didn't care about colours. not that he didn't care about them at all, but the shades of grey just didn't make him sad, like they did now. he also didn't have a lot interest in love in his past. his only worry would be to find friends, but that wasn't so hard for him, since he was so outgoing.

when he grew older, the feeling of dullness set in and life got lonelier for him. what obviously didn't make it better was when he moved out to live alone.
his life felt kind of blurry. the memories he made, felt like they didn't even happen.
when something exciting happened, the feeling was there already and it was as if his mind didn't really follow his body to the places and events he went to.
even when the most exciting and interesting situations occurred, he could not really be happy with his life or enjoy the happy moments in a retrospect. maybe everyone felt like this, he didn't know. it was just so obvious to him and it really made his life even lonelier.

maybe, just maybe, minho would understand it. it absolutely couldn't be pleasing to know, that you could've had a soulmate, but the soulmate wasn't there anymore, for you to love them.

jisung felt really sorry for minho's loss.
on another note, jisung could not hold the inner question back, if he himself would have a chance with minho now.
he felt selfish and dumb to even think about it.  hell, he didn't even meet his own soulmate yet, which must still be outside, in the world, somewhere!
even when jisung would get the chance to date minho, he would probably end up hurting the boy. and jisung would never want to hurt him, so he dropped the thought and promised himself to not think about it again.

instead, he looked down at his drink, contemplating what colours the ash grey substance might have. no one told him the colour of it, but he guessed that it might be brown, just like the coffee his father liked to drink, since it was similar to it from its taste.

his phone vibrated beside his cup, lighting up with a new message. jisung curiously picked it up and unlocked it, looking at the message.

an unknown number had texted him.

unknown:
hey jisung!! it's li dai! :D

jisung read it out in a whisper. he furiously punched in an answer, with widened eyes.

Jisung😍😍:
Hello

before he could type out his next message, a new one from her side already arrived.

Unknown:
do you want to go grab a coffee with me? or meet somewhere else?
you know, get to know your soulmate and stuff ;)

jisung expression was sour and he immediately shook his head disapprovingly, but without really noticing it himself.

Jisung😍😍:
I am sorry, but please don't bother me. I know that you are NOT my soulmate and i would be pleased if you just drop it and never try to fool someone else again.

her answer took a while and jisung could already imagine her shocked, sour or maybe even disappointed facial expression.

Unknown: god, you're so unfriendly. wouldn't even want to date you tbh. :)

“well then…”, whispered jisung. he already had enough of her and didn't want to care about it anymore, so he blocked her and deleted the number, before setting his phone down again with a sigh.

he wrote the thoughts that really troubled him down in his notebook, maybe wrote some of his sentences in a lyrical form and then left to go back home.

🍀
um so this is like more of a filler, im sorry,, i hope you liked it anyway :)

jisungs contact name is how li dai saved him
yes i made it extra cringy don't add me😔🤙

im seeing alec benjamin tomorrow i am sososososo excited!! this is like my first concert ever tbh ahhh❣️💖♥️💗jsjdj