the heartbreak

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This is the only place I can be myself. I barely have privacy so I enjoy my alone time ,whenever I get some, like its my last. I share a room with my little sister and I have an older brother named Devin. Hes mean just like every other brother in the world. My parents are together but I really hate my dad. He always annoys me, I dont know why. Sometimes I hope they will get a divorce but I know as soon as it happends, I'll regret hoping that. I usually stay in my room and away from my annoying family. I keep things away from them because I dont want them to know who I am. I like keeping me and my business to me, no matter what or who they are. I dont want my family to know anything because I know they will judge me and chose otherwise. If I fall for someone, all I get is " The only boyfriend you have is me." and then my mom laughs and I storm out of the room pissed. So ive learned to keep things in or get judged for my desicions. Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Like a bird or something that doesnt have to deal with rules or problems. I could be free.. I could fly around anywhere i want to go, see anything I want to see. I could fly above the clouds and see breathtaking views. I would love that more than anything. I think im goi-

"Desirae!" yelled dad.

"What do you want dad?!"

"Dont talk to me like that little girl!" He said.

I get up to close the door and lock it. He made me mad. All I said was 'what do you want'. He acts like I cussed him out or something. Ugh. Hes so annoying why does he have to be alive? Why did my mother marry him? ..What did I do to deserve this life?

I wonder that all the time. Sometimes I wonder why im even here. I never tell anyone because I dont want them to think im going to do anything like commit suicide or anything. Thats how this society is, thats what they would imediatly think if I said those words to them. Its annoying, Just like everything else.