Aphmau One Shots - Fate

Zanmau 1 (My Street)

*Brief Mention of Suicide*
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It was so incredibly high up. The wind hit Zanes back like a whip as he clutched the railing. Zane felt nauseous and afraid. He didn't think he'd be afraid. 'There's no turning back, ' the never stopping voice at the back of his head whispered. A deep cold voice that seemed to be pushing him down down down into the cold abyss. Then he woke up, and then he was alive. Brilliantly alive. Learning to live again. Aphmau was there, right next to him every step of the way. At first, he was just happy to have someone listen to him. Someone to look at him and see past the cracking crumbling facade he put up. Aphmau stayed with him through everything. She offered her hand when he was scared and held him when he cried. She helped him figure everything out when he could barely put his thoughts into words. So when he woke up one-morning craving her presence. Wanting nothing more than for her to be there with him and hold him until the pain stopped. He wasn't too surprised or shocked. More disgusted that he thought he could ever be worthy of her affection.

She had looked him in the eye. How was she able to look him in the eye and tell him she loved him. She was lying, she was confused. She was too ready to welcome Zane into her arms. She may have said she wanted him the same way he wanted her. But Zane knew that wasn't the truth. She was too attached to be able to just let go. He knew he would burn them both so badly the scars would never be healed. And he didn't want to put her through that. He wanted her to shine like the sun. However, he knew he would only help her to burn out. So he turned her away. He allowed himself to hurt her for a second instead of the years he knew he was capable of. Screaming and yelling and spitting in her face to save her from the storm that was loving someone as broken as he was. And she fought it, she fought that pain and sorrow. She carried on and fought for him. Fought for his love and friendship. Tried her damn best to bring him joy.

When she told him how she felt a part of him felt so gleeful, so giddy he wanted to laugh. He loved her so much and for so long that it felt as though sharp knives and stabbed into his heart. None the less he let himself stand there and tell her he could never love her. It was a lie. It crawled at his skin and it burned. The truth begging to be unlocked and come screaming out of Zane's throat. He pushed it back down down down where he knew it would never come back. Kept it locked up. Never letting it getting out. But then it did. It came out so bright and strong. Yelling to the world that he loved her more then the moon loved the sun and the stars loved the sea. "Aphmau, I love you" She smiled. Oh God did she beam when he told her. Her arms holding him strong and tight. "I love you too, "

She was perfect. Her eyes were perfect. Her hands, her lips, her hair, everything about her was so perfect Zane thought he might melt. He was perfect. His laugh was perfect. His freckles, his hair, his blush everything about him was so perfect Aphmau thought she would drown. "Zane you know I would do anything for you, " and he told her the same. "Zane if I had to I would die for you. Would you be able to do that?" She had asked him. Her perfect mouth curled down in a frown. He shook his head no and wrapped his hand around her own. "Aphmau no. No, I wouldn't die for you, " She tilted her head. Such a confused look on her beautiful features. "Why not?" He took a moment to think "Because I would live for you. Aphmau I have spent my entire life wishing to die. For you though, Aphmau I would climb to the ends of the earth and the tops of mountains. I would fight dragons and conquer worlds. But I would never die, for you, I would live. I would live my life to see you smile."