Hair Dye

Um, Who Is That?!

This is the longest single piece of writing (over 20,000 words?! how?!) I have written as of December 31, 2018, and it is all thanks to you, my lovely readers. Every comment you leave gives me motivation to continue even when sometimes I'm not sure I can. Thank you for comments, votes, everything.

A little self-promo here: you can catch me on Tumblr @ starkravinghazelnoots (Marvel) and @ thinkingisadangerouspastime (shitposts). I plan to start posting a few drabbles on there if you want to give me a follow.

I combined three different prompts for this oneshot; I hope you don't mind. I think overall I actually like how it turned out!

Prompt (suggested by PrincessNaina on FanFiction): How about a one shot where Tony takes Peter out for ice cream, or something, and the paparazzi turn up and then Aunt May calls and it all kind of descends into chaos? I changed going out for ice cream to going out for dinner.

Prompt (suggested by camelot1995 on FanFiction): Can you please write one where Peter has plans to go to a Star Wars convention with Ned, but he gets sick or something and can't go so Tony takes Peter instead? And then afterwards they go to the lab and try to make real lightsabers? I'd really love to hear the crap that Tony would give Peter for his nerdiness (like if he went all out with a Han Solo or young Anakin Skywalker costume). I changed a Star Wars convention to the D23 Expo because I don't know enough about Star Wars to make it be the only thing the convention was about (I know, I know - I'm terribly uncultured. My bad).

Prompt (suggested by SapphireSwan on AO3): As for a prompt, how about the Rogue Avengers come back and chill in Tony's living room, meaning to surprise him/talk to him, but Peter comes in and, well, Is Peter™️ and the avengers are convinced that Peter is Tony's son. (The matching red streaks don't help.)

Notes: I live for petulant Wanda, so she's a bit of a bitch throughout this oneshot (in a fun way, I think). If you like Wanda to be a sweet and pure angel, this is not the fic for you. Also, if you don't read Wanda's voice with a thick Serbian accent (aka what they initially gave her in the MCU before stopping randomly), then you aren't living life to the fullest. Also, I don't care that they said Wanda is a teenager; Elizabeth Olsen looks nothing like a 16-year-old, so Wanda is 23 in my book.

I hope you enjoy!

xXxXxXx

"Well, that is absolute bullshit," Tony muttered, not bothering to look at his friend. He kept his attention on the webshooter he was trying to fix for Peter, who had accidentally broken it on his last Spider-Man outing. "If I said that I hated everyone and everything in the entire goddamn universe, would you deem me too dramatic, dear?"

Rhodey shrugged from where he was sitting next to him. "I wouldn't blame you if you did. No one expected them to show up. Not so soon, and not so unexpectedly."

"I think I'm going to conveniently take a vacation that lasts however long they're here," Tony grumbled, using his sleeve to wipe sweat from his face. "And I'll bring Peter with me. He shouldn't have to experience this kind of bullshit, either."

Rhodey chuckled. "Seeing as they're just showing up out of the blue, the government completely uninvolved, then it's perfectly legal for you to not be here. Do I recommend you abandon me? Preferably not, but I wouldn't blame you for ditching."

Tony sighed, placing down the webshooter and turning to look at his friend. "I don't even know how I'd talk to them, Rhodey." The fact that the Rogue Avengers had been spotted entering New York - which had been planned sighting, of course, to alert himself and others to their arrival - was as irritating to him as it made him nauseous. Did he have some kind of trauma? Undoubtedly. Was he using proper coping mechanisms, i.e. therapy? Absolutely not.