Backstory for anyone who cares, these were written last year, about an abusive ex boyfriend who I had recently got entangled with again. He destroyed parts of me I loved, and left me stuck in a fucked up hole for months on end. But I've finally let him go after all the time. If you're somehow reading this Marshal, fuck you. Fuck you for destroying me.
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I'm in love with you
I'm still thinking of you
You're with her
But I hope you're thinking of me too
((he was, little skank))
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Every morning the sun kisses the sky
And every night the stars never fail to shine
and one day in this remarkable world
you will forever be mine
((NAH FUK U CUNNNTNTNTNTNT))
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No ones ever loved me
This way before
And no ones ever left me
Feeling quite this sore
And now all i can think about is your tongue on my lips
and the soft brush of your finger tips
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You were gone too soon,
and now all i can think about is the movies we watched, the way you talked, and the smell of your hair.
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He was a boy with an old soul and a broken heart
With words that played my mind
Convincing me I loved him, through countless painful times
He was a master of trickery
He was a closed off mystery
Old soul, I don't regret letting you go
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Promises
With these labels come promises
Girlfriend
Promise to stay loyal
A promise to love them with all of your heart
A promise to speak the truth
Boyfriend
A promise to protect
And a promise to care
A promise to love
Here I am, keeping my promises, when you've broke all of yours
How long must I sit here, in silence
Waiting for things to change
When there is no change
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Does he love me,
Does he love me not?
His whispers fill up every thought
Every ache, every pain
He seemed to make it all go away.
But silence
Silence replaces him from my thoughts.
Newfound worries
Does he love me?
he loves me not.
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Your silence
Creates black holes
Ripping through the galaxies you have built me
Your words
Create mountains
Dividing the lush fields you have planted in me
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waiting for an answer
A half assed answer
He says he cares
Yet I still feel so unloved
He says he adores me
Yet he blows off every word I say
Every compliment I send his way
Every effort I give to show him I care
But here I sit
Waiting for an answer
That one
Long waited
half assed answer
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Here we stand
Such absent lovers
In an exchange of gifts
Words and touch
There is no connection
Like there used to be
Yet every night
My mind buzzes with thoughts
And hope the once joyous romance
The one which we began with
Will soon reclaim its throne
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Old soul where have you gone
The wonder that used to fill your words
The hope that adorned your genuine smile
Old soul you used to talk so effortlessly
The way you moved, you graced the room
Your generous hands, holding mine tight
Old soul, why did you ever let them go
Over the weeks your smile faded to black
The wondrous words you used to speak whisked away by generic responses
Old soul, where did you go
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It's 2:21
My minds buzzing with thoughts
Do I love him, do I love him not?
YOU ARE READING
Poetry
PoetryA collection of my thoughts. Maybe you can read them and feel as if they are yours too, or maybe you'll read them and think what the fuck. Either or, enjoy.
