Undercover Badge; Next Generation

Chapter 47

Chapter 47

"Now this is a dress!" Ingrid said in approval. More yelled, really, having to lean in close to my ear to be heard above the pumping beat of the dance. I smiled and gave her a gentle nod. True to form, Ingrid was in a daringly cut red number that grazed the floor. Me? I wore a dress that faded from ivory cream to bloody red. It was the dress from the party where I first met-

Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

"And I'm so proud of you for the red lipstick, babe!" she yelled over the din. I nodded at her. I'd gone with the red lipstick and hair all blow-dried and pulled over one shoulder. I looked better outside than I felt inside.

Her boyfriend had come down from Columbia. He was a charming, attractive guy who'd given me partially concerned side-eye the whole night. I checked my wristwatch. Well. Not mine. It'd been my mothers. A vintage, delicate, small art deco watch with an oval face. Four hours was long enough, I convinced myself. Four hours was totally a long enough time to spend at this dance and then go home, I convinced myself. I tried. I really tried to keep up appearances and act normal. Just then, the music changed to a slow song and i took that as my cue in a sign from the universe that i had it's permission to go. A slow song? Romantic couples dancing? In love? That I officially just could not handle.

"So, I gotta go." I yelled at Ingrid over the music. "What?" She cried. "No, it's so early!"

I smiled at her gently. Good, kind Ingrid. "I know. Have fun for me." I said and ghosted a kiss to her cheek bone before I pulled away and walked to the exit. I gripped the silk clutch in my hand as tight as I could and pulled my shoulder blades back as I walked. The air in my lungs was beginning to press back against my ribs and the room was starting to spin. I cant do this, not here, not ever. Images flashed behind my lids. Blood. No. James holding her, his chest billowing  as he lost himself to sorrow. I heard his voice like a gunshot through my brain - bad choice of words -  "Katherine, no!". I remember the the mercenaries sighing and walking out when they realized their boss was dead, and Matthew looking up at me like... like....

Well. Like I'd just murdered his mother in cold blood. My breath caught like ice in my throat at the thought and I stumbled in the middle of the dance-floor.

I took a breath past the pain in my lungs. And we're walking. I told myself in my head. We are walking, and we are walking. One foot in front of the other, raise your head, you've got it.

When the gym door slammed shut behind me, most of the music cut off. I breathed a sigh. Giggles erupted to my left. A girl was having her neck kissed by her boyfriend as they stumbled towards the parking lot. I smiled gently.

I took measured, even steps on my way out the door. The cold air bit into my exposed shoulders needle sharp as I stepped stepped past the door and made my way across the grass. I lifted my hem and stepped onto the asphalt before digging into my clutch for the keys before the comforting "beep-beep" of my green hatchback unlocking had me in the driver's seat. I sighed. Rested my forehead against the steering wheel. Okay. Okay. Keep it together.

The hatchback started, and I pulled, gently, out of the parking lot. I drove with unnecessary slowness down main street, lit up with taffeta fairy lights of all colors and streamers and flyers advertising the school dance. Look at the pretty colors, I told myself, but I didn't. I couldn't see them.

I pulled my car up my drive way and parked her before I spilled out onto the paving stones. I almost fell to my knees. No. Make it to the door. The walls and door had been fixed, thank the gods. I opened it.