Rewind And Drown Again

pie.ce 2

sloth in white
As time developed, it was clear that you'd started to fade away. On some days it would be hard to prove you were even there at all. I know you felt it too. Probably even more than we did. But I guess it wasn't worth it. Because of course everything happens for a reason. I'm sure you've told yourself that repeatedly over time. So why do anything about it, right? I think, you knew you were hiding parts of the truth in your dark closet. Because some things happen, with no one doing anything to prevent it as cause. And you clearly felt it sting. But never did you try to clean the surface. Never did you give it a chance to heal or to create something better. I guess in the end of the day, you just couldn't be bothered. You'd just let it be. You wouldn't invest any energy, it wasn't worth your time. Because if it finally broke during a cold unforgiving night, maybe it wasn't meant to be to begin with, right?

sloth in black
As time developed, it was clear that you'd started to fade away. Your face would hardly wear a smile, if it even showed itself at all. And I could've said back that I wanted you back, back then. Just you, by our side. But had I ever known better? As far as I knew, that was the way it was supposed to be. I could feel you didn't want me around, there was no reason to bother. I missed you, I certainly did. But I couldn't do anything, so I forgot about trying. I gave up without really fighting for you. I can now feel my sloth turning itself against me, I'm dreading it. Because just like I let you go, I watched myself drown. And I sat there, staring, but too tired to pull my own body out of the river. Not even fighting. It wasn't worth my energy, nothing was. And so I was forced to quit breathing. But you had never done anything too, and you were fine. You were just fine, you'd vow over and over again, just like I do now. Because if I finally break during a cold unforgiving night, maybe it wasn't meant to begin with, right?