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Shaking hands traced the scar sitting neatly against her skin, slightly raised and worn like her favourite necklace. It was there to remind her of the pain she felt when the accident happened. They had stitched her up neatly, properly, so it would heal quicker and easier. Though no amount of careful stitching, weaving her skin back together so it bound itself shut again, could ever heal her heart. He would die.
There were so many things she could have done to prevent it; watched the road, made him take another route, told him to brake, turned off the radio, looked the other way, noticed the headlights. Yet she couldn't change it now. He was dying. He was dead.
Within the confinement of the four invasively white walls of the waiting room, Charlotte and Meghan sat in silence. Both women holding their breath and words as they found other things to occupy themselves. Perhaps the loose thread of a shirt would fill the silence or the habit of fidgeting with jewellery would make time go quicker.
The room itself appeared as a constricting skeleton of brick and paint so luminous it seemed intrusive. You couldn't sleep with the cleanliness of it all, fearing taking a breath in case you were scorched from the artificial lights. Charlotte hadn't slept at all and barely left the empty space. She couldn't remember the freedom of fresh air or sun on her pale skin.
The furniture was light too and bare with lack of maintenance or care. Tables uneven from years of careless toddlers banging unamused fists upon the wood; the coat stand decorated in meticulous spiderwebs and dust; door hinges creaking with exhaustion. Things came here to wait for death, it was aptly suited for its purpose.
"It could have been you" Meghan broke the silence.
The younger woman wanted to scream at her, tell her how fucking stupid she had been for removing her emergency contacts and not calling her the second it happened. Nobody knew what had happened nights before leaving Charlotte alone, waiting.
Resting her head against the wall and closing her eyes, Charley thought about how she might have preferred it that way. So many things would have been fixed if she had died earlier. "It would have been easier if it was" Charlotte replied solemnly.
"Don't mean that" Meghan turned in her seat to face her friend, "Lie to me, say you didn't mean that" she added with her voice now aggrieved. Unlike her common bubbly state of sunshine and yellow chaos, Meg was distressed from the severity of the comment. "I-I couldn't-"
Charlotte was convinced her friend was about to cry. Finding the right words to say, she held her shaking hand tightly and gave her a faint smile. "You know you'd hear from me if something like that was happening" Charlotte sighed. "All that time ago I made that stupid promise.."
"To save your life" Meg clearly spoke up, her voice almost abrupt with concern. Instead of moving, the hand catching her own squeezed tighter than before. "I don't think it's stupid if it could save your life" She clarified, fidgeting with her hands and glancing at anything but her friend.
