Very Ugly, Very Ugly Indeed

Ugly 17: Objective Complete

~Ugly 17: Objective Complete ~
Freddy: Lying? You think I'm LYING?
Bonbon: I don't think. I know!
-What was Bonbon? A lie detector?
Freddy: Well, how would you know? You don't know a thing about this place!
Bonbon: You're wrong! I actually do know quite a bit—
Freddy: Oh really? From where? Your instincts?
-Freddy was playing Bonbon at this point. He didn't know why he enjoyed to do this. He just kind of... did. He looked at Funtime Foxy, still flip-flopped and motionless, then back at Bonbon.
Bonbon: I read it in a book once!
-Seriously? Out of all the places!
Freddy: Not everything in a book is true!
Bonbon: It was non-fiction!
Freddy: Ohhh. Nevermind then.
Bonbon: You know what happens living things when stupidity demons "keep" them?
-Freddy didn't respond.
Bonbon: They wipe their minds and replace their brains with animal mindsets! And they even recolor them sometimes! If you really did trade Puppet away for a teleport, then Puppet is as good as dead!
-Freddy had heard the "good as dead" phrase before, but he never got its meaning.
Freddy: ...And?
Bonbon: Puppet's gone thanks to you!
-Freddy bit his tongue (although they were robots and they didn't have tongues) and avoided eye contact. He felt lost. He hated being responsible for something that he could get in trouble for.
Freddy: It's his own fault. If he hadn't wandered off in search of money or whatever, he never would've gotten taken up.
Bonbon: You had the option to save Puppet or spare yourself a few steps!
Freddy: It's his fault he ever chose to hang out with idiots like you!
-Ouch. Freddy didn't mean that. "Idiots" was a strong word. Bonbon stared at Freddy with a pained expression. Weirdly, Freddy knew he was wrong, but he had to stick to his own ground. A voice broke the silence.
Funtime Foxy: Well, That was an interesting conversation.
-Bonbon turned to Funtime Foxy, and so did Freddy.
Bonbon: Foxy! You're back! You won't believe what Freddy did...
-Really? He HAD to say that in front of Freddy. Funtime Foxy looked between Bonbon and Freddy, obviously curious. However, they were interrupted by a weird twinkling sound. A REALLY weird twinkling sound. It almost sounded like glitter being sprinkled if glitter being sprinkled had a noise. Funtime Foxy turned to the direction of the noise, and so did Freddy and Bonbon. There was a giant sparkling raft-like structure gliding towards them. It was encrusted with diamonds and had giant golden wings.
Female Voice: Look below! My faaans!
-It was so bright that Freddy couldn't look directly at it. He squinted and tried to stare at the seats.
Female Voice: Go to them!
-The figure in the structure clapped twice, causing it to spiral gracefully towards them. It gently parked down on the platform next to them. A tall figure in a white dress and huge fashionable glasses strutted out. They pushed the weird glasses upwards, revealing their dark brown eyes and makeup-caked face. They also wore tremendously-tall red heels.

Female Figure: You two want an autograph? Hmmm?
Bonbon: Actually, theres three of us.
Female Figure: Oh! I didn't see you! You are so tiny and stout! Now tell me, what are you doing up here on this hill?
-Bonbon frowned. He could tell that Bonbon didn't like to be called out for his height. Funtime Foxy stepped up.
Funtime Foxy: Who are you?
Female Figure: Who are you to ask? You sound masculine, yet you have lipstick on. Make up your mind!
-Funtime Foxy scowled, peeved. Funtime Foxy was clearly not responsible for his design choices, and neither was Bonbon.
Female Figure: But, me, oh! I am the one and only Lamppost!
-Lamppost. This was her. But how? She didn't look at all like any other stupidity demons he had seen, and he had seen a lot. She didn't even have a paper hat on! Two buff bouncers came out of the structure and mirrored her on both sides.
Freddy: Wait, you're Lamppost?
-Lamppost did that I-have-one-billion-dollars-and-you-don't chuckle.
Lamppost: Who else could it be, darling? Now, what do you want? An autograph? Here.
-Out of nowhere she pulled out a large poster of herself. She posed, looking nearly identical to the Lamppost in the picture.

Freddy: No. I want two soul contracts.
Lamppost: Soul contracts you say? My, my bothersome brother did lend me two of those, didn't he?
-Great. They didn't have to drag themselves across the Nether. At least not yet.
Freddy: Fireplace, right?
Lamppost: Yas. He is smarter then he looks, though. Behind all that dental hygiene and poor acne is someone who really knows how to deceive.
-Deceive? What did Lamppost mean by that? She did that fancy laugh again.
Lamppost: Have them. I have no use for them, anyway.
-Out of her fancy diamond-encrusted purse, she pulled out two small yellow post-it notes. Honestly, Freddy expected something more grand to be made into a contract. She handed them over to Freddy. He gazed down at each one and read them each in his head:
"Bonnie the Bunny, you have sold your undying soul to Umbrella Carrot Lettuce, collector of ignorance, destroyer of intelligence, ruler of Stupidity Kingdom, licker of sponge, and taster of grapefruit marmalade. To ensure this, sign on the dotted line:"
-On the small dotted line, there was Bonnie's signature, which was just his print name because he couldn't write cursive. Freddy's said the same thing (of course with his own name and such), but the signature was far off. Freddy's cursive was elegant and perfect, while Bonnie's attempt was pathetic. It looked like Bonnie scribbled something down then spilt water on it, causing the ink to spread out.
Freddy: Oh— um— thanks.
-Bonbon, this time, stepped up.
Bonbon: Is there a Nether portal around here?
Lamppost: Yes, darling. At the pancake factory, of course. Everyone knows!
-Pancake factory? This was unheard of.
Bonbon: Okie! Can you teleport us to their then?
-Lamppost hesitated, then almost smirked. Freddy figured it was a celebrity thing.
Lamppost: Sure Thing! The two of you will be gone in no time!
Bonbon: Three!
Lamppost: Oh, my mistake, little one! Now, get ready for your TP!
-Freddy assumed that TP meant teleport.
Lamppost: Three! Two!
-Lamppost clapped her hands twice.
Lamppost: One.