Christmas morning
I woke up on Christmas morning feeling rejuvenated. I was home for a month and this month has brought me so much comfort. I stopped focusing on love and started focusing on myself. Happiness is God's greatest gift to humans so I was going to embrace it as much as I can.
I loved the feeling of happiness. I even started to write more... maybe i'll get my works published one day.
I haven't talked to Xaiver but he knows where my heart is. I pray for him, so of course he's still in my life.
I came a long way from August don't you think?
Cj's doing alot better. No seizures and his leg is healing properly. My mama is still the best woman in the world and Yari is growing everyday.
I uncapped my lipstick and started to apply it.
Christmas this year was at this cabin in Tennessee. My mama had been dying to go there ever since she started watching those Hallmark movies.
It was peaceful out here. Even though there was snow on the ground, the sun was shining, brightly at that.
My mama had called me back downstairs to open our gifts and I was excited because I finally bought my family something.
I opened my gifts.
I got some books, clothes, shoes, and some money and a a necklace and anklet.
Cj opened his gifts
Then I gave them their gifts.
I gave my dad an old alumni jacket that I got somebody to make for me and I gave my mama a necklace and a picture frame with Cj and I and my grandmother ( her mom ) in the background as an angel. She teared up and hugged the both of us.
I teared up too because I missed my grandmother dearly and seeing other people cry made me tear up.
But I wasn't going to mess up my makeup. As fast as the tears came they left.
We picked up the trash and spruced up the living room as the rest of my family came down.
I greeted them, hugged and kissed everybody, and told them Merry Christmas.
We went outside to take family pictures then went inside to eat.
I sat by Yari and my mama again and as soon as I started eating the door bell rang.
We all looked up because we wondered who the hell could that be. All the family was here already.
My mama got the door and in walked Xaiver and KT.
What. the. hell.
"Merry Christmas everybody" they both said.
"Mama kitchen please!" i smiled .
"Mama!!"
"Blake. That boy reached out to me and told me everything that happened between you both. Now that's not up for me to decide so I invited him. Stop acting a ass and hear him out. That's why you're single now" and with that she walked off pushing me.
The nerve!!
I told Xaiver to step outside so we can have a conversation.
"Blake before you say anything, I'm sorry. I was scared to love you so I didn't take you seriously. When I saw that you didn't care that hurt. I wanted you to beg for me and fuss at me to get me to change my ways but you didn't. You made me change on my own and for that I realized that you are truly one of a kind. There were many times where I wanted to come to your room and bust down the door, but then I realized what would I say besides I'm sorry. I wasn't ready for you then but I'm ready for you now. I love you and I know it's weird because I only met you like 4 months ago but I'm addicted to you. I think about you everyday all day. I want to be the man you wake up too and the man you fall asleep underneath. I cherish you. You have a beautiful soul and I need that in my life.... forever" he said stepping infront me.
I didn't know what to say.
I was in awe because I never knew that I could have this type of effect on a man.
He sounded like he was reciting wedding vows and I was at peace. This man wouldn't be standing here infront me today if it weren't for God.
I didn't realize I was crying until he pat my tear away.
"I don't want to mess up your makeup" he laughed
(y'all this man pat a tear away bcs he didn't want to mess my face up... A MAN)
"You love me?" I asked shivering.
"Yes I love you, and I want to be with you"
This man loved me... loved me for me. After all i've been through all I can say is thank you God.
"Yes" i finally said and I grabbed his face and I kissed him. I kissed him like my life depended on it.. Until my dad cleared his throat and my family cheered in uproar.
I was so happy. so ecstatic. We both were.
We held hands as we continued walking down the street
I had been through hell and back trying to find some one who loves me but the gag is I stopped looking... He's everything and more than I can ask for and I found someone to add onto my new found happiness and honey I was glowing.
These past 6 months have been challenging for me... I lost myself emotionally and mentally but with the grace of God and Yari's help everything played out in my favor.
All I can do is count my blessings and lift my head because greater things are in store for me, my new boyfriend, my family, my bff and my godchild.
"What's on your mind?" Xaiver asked as he pulled me in closer.
"Thank you for finding me" I said as I kissed him... my man.
