Me, My Notebook & I

chapter 09

I pondered the meaning of my message. What will he feel like when he reads it? Would he consider revealing himself to me? He might never write me anything after it once he sees that it will lead to a dead end; I won't respond.

Shit. This is so frustrating.

I tear the page from the notebook and crumple it in my fist. I put the pen to the paper and consider what to write. I want it to be something that will lead to him writing me something back; preferably something where he unveils in it his identity and all his motives.

Sau's voice stops my train of thought. "I'm done! The best caramel popcorn that you'll ever have the pleasure of tasting!" She holds out the bowl to me but only after she snatches a fist full of popcorn for herself. She shoves them in her mouth and says, "You're welcome!" However, because she's speaking while chewing, it comes out sounding a bit more like 'Yo weykam'.

Smiling, I take the bowl from her and say, "Let me be the judge of that. I'll tell you if it's the best I've ever tasted or if it's barely edible." She carries on chewing with a smug look on her face.

I grab a bunch and shove them in my mouth. I chew all while pretending to think about how it tastes. Truth is it's really good but damned if I was gonna say that. "Hmmm... meh."

Sau throws a few popcorns while yelling an offended, "Hey!"

I laugh, unable to keep my poker face. "Okay, fine. It's really good, Sau."

"Chef Sau to you, bitch." She strikes a peter pan pose while pointing her nose to the ceiling.

I slap her shoulder playfully as we make our way to the couch in front of the TV in the living room. We grab our burgers, sodas and popcorn and splay them on the table in front of us and turn on 'Love, Rosie'. I end up resting my head on her shoulder and she rests hers on top on mine and we deem it comfortable enough to watch the movie while eating.

Half way through the movie, after we're done eating and fangirling over Sam Claflin, and idea popped up in my head.

"Sau!" I shout, excited.

"What! Are you actually gonna interrupt my Sam time?" She turns her head to look at me with mock rage.

I laugh at her reaction and say hurriedly before leaping off the couch, "Sorry! I know what message to write now!" I grab the notebook from the kitchen counter and return to my previous position on the couch but cross legged this time, Indian style. I scribble what I had in mind on the paper then start to read in a deep voice, "You're not anonymous anymore. I know who you are."

Sau looks at me alarmed, "You know who he or she is?"

"Stupid." I raise my eyebrow while shaking my head and settle for staring at her till she gets it.

She doesn't. "What?!" She asks, frustrated.

"Sau! How clueless can you be! Of course I don't know who he is! I'll just say that to him so that he would write me back!"

She takes a deep breath then exhales. "You just shocked me."

"Stupid." I shove her shoulder playfully and take the popcorn bowl while resuming my previous position of my head on her legs. Thirty minutes later, I fell asleep.

Susan's Point of View

When the movie ends, I look at Lucina to find her already asleep. I shut down the TV and move all the food off the couch. Times like this, your mind runs free; when you're doing nothing so you start to think about what happened and what should have happened instead. I start to remember what happened at Dr. Billy's. Why didn't he tell her the truth?