A smiles secret

4-Time is Strange

Giselle made her way down the long corridor towards her room. The walls would have been a sickening light blue color if it wasn't for posters and some of the patients art plastered everywhere. Giselle stopped and admired a picture that seemed to radiate a rainbow by all the colors that were spread across the page. 

-

Giselle rolled her eyes as she walked into her room, even by putting her favorite things everywhere it still didn't feel like home. Giselle flopped onto her bed, it was surprising comfortable for being in a mental hospital. She stared up at the roof letting her questions and thoughts effortlessly creep into her mind. She didn't care if the thoughts or questions were tearing her apart piece by piece, she didn't really care about anything anymore. Giselle was lost in her mind as those terrible thoughts and the familiar feelings of worthlessness left a pit in her stomach, when something caught her eye. On the roof above the bed was a name scribbled in black ink. Giselle got to her feet and stood on the bed in effort to see what the name was. The writing was scratchy,like someone had written it in a hurry. 'Adelaide'the writing read, what a pretty name, Giselle thought as she hopped down from the bed and headed toward the window.

Giselle was thankful she got this room, unlike the other rooms she had glanced into, she had a cushion placed between the wall and window, giving it a cozy nook. Giselle sat in the nook taking out a bright yellow notebook from her bag. The staff had told her to bring a notebook so she could record her feelings. Giselle opened the notebook and flipped through the pages, it was empty besides the first page. On the first page was a letter, her suicide letter. Giselle felt a ping of guilt as she stared at it. She had felt so awful in the moments the wrote the letter, but why couldn't she have waited just a little longer so her family could enjoy Christmas? Giselle ripped out the letter and folded it up, she shoved it aggressively into the back of the notebook and let a tear drip down her cheek.

-

A while had passed but Giselle remained in the same spot, staring at a spot on the wall with chipped paint. A ding went over the intercom bringing Giselle out of her state of daydream. How long had she sat there just staring at the wall? The door creaked as it opened revealing Ella as she stepped into the room. "You'll usually have counselling at this time but for now you should be in an activity room." Ella said looking at the light pink watch placed around her wrist.

Giselle sighed and got up from the window. "After meals you have an hour to yourself, after that you have counselling or you're in an activity room." Ella motioned for Giselle to follow her out of the room.

As they walked down the hall toward a room filled with people doing different activities or socializing with each other Giselle, once again,let herself day dream. Did I really stare at that wall for an hour? Giselle let the question linger in her mind. Time is strange. Giselle didn't ever get why people let something made up boss them around, I mean after all one day someone just decided time was a thing and no one questioned it.