dead | ethan dolan

movies are overrated

chapter forty
——mackenzie's pov
april 11th, 2018

my palms sweated as i clutched my number two pencil. time was running out. i could feel it. i stared at number thirty two, willing it to just tell me the answer.

baseball player's chocolate bar. baseball player's chocolate bar. it wasn't a baby ruth. that didn't fit. who the heck else had a chocolate bar?

"done!" veronica rang the bell and dropped her pencil. she shoved her completed crossword across the counter for me to envy. "read it and weep."
i moaned and slapped my book closed.
"i suck!" i said, head in hands.

"this is true," she replied with a matter-of-fact nod. "why are you even here? shouldn't you be, like, cheering for your man at the lacrosse game?"

i groaned again and stood up straight, stepping aside so veronica could ring up an elderly lady who had a basketful of discount toilet paper.
"first of all, i don't have a man. and secondly, since i don't have a man it would be kind of odd for me to attend the lacrosse game and cheer for him," i said, leaning back in front of the second register, which was closed.
"i see. verboten boyfriends can be difficult that way," veronica said.

she handed the woman her change and gave me a hesitant look as the lady moved toward the door. "so, listen, there's something i feel  
like i should tell you, but i'm not sure if i should tell you."

my heart thumped with foreboding, and i stood up straight. "well, now you obviously have to tell me."
she took a deep breath. "okay, but i'm not entirely sure what it means."
"ronnie, what?" i demanded.

"i was at the acorn today and madeline came in to talk to kylie," veronica said, tugging her laptop out of her bag, which was behind the counter. "of course i tried to listen in, as i always do, but they were whispering, so it was hard to hear everything."
my throat prickled. "what did they say?"

"madeline said something about the night at paddy's. then she said something i didn't hear, which made kylie totally freak out. she said something like 'how could you do this to me? you promised you wouldn't' and then-"
"what were they talking about?"
"i don't know. but then i heard madeline distinctly say 'ethan made me swear i wouldn't tell mackenzie.'"

i felt like the floor had just dropped out from under me. madeline and ethan were keeping secrets from me together? secrets kylie knew about?

veronica looked up at me, her eyes wide with apology. "should i not have told you?"
"no. it's good. it's fine," i said, my mind reeling.
i saw a pair of headlights flash in the parking lot. ethan was there. perfect timing, as always.
"he's here," i said.
veronica glanced over her shoulder out the window. "you should just ask him about it," she said confidently. "maybe it's nothing."
right. somehow, i had a hard time believing that.

"yeah," i said. "maybe i will." but i found i couldn't move. ethan honked the horn and waved me out, grinning.
"or just forget about it." veronica said. "i feel bad that i ruined your night. just go and have fun."
"yeah." i said, grabbing my jacket. "thanks v, see you."

outside, a misty rain fell from the dark april sky. i popped open the door of the jeep, and ethan grinned at me. he had a streak of dirt on his face, and the entire side of his uniform was caked in mud. my whole body responded to his gorgeousness, but my heart felt sour. why was he keeping secrets from me? and with my former best friend/current worst enemy?

"wow. rough game?" i asked, trying to go for a light tone.
"you should see the other guys."
he pulled out, and within fifteen minutes we were parked in the country club lot again. he leaned over to kiss me, but i couldn't kiss him back.