How Much Is Too Much?

Chapter Two

After a long hard day with Marcos; I decided to leave early and when I said early I mean it's 8pm I'm tired and all I wanna do is scroll on my social media and dating apps. Finally locking up the store with Marcos, in the middle of us locking and putting things away here he ask the same question as always " So when are you going to start dating again? "I keep telling you let me chase this money and maybe a girl. Other than that I don't want to be knocked off of my focus bro" "Mane do you not see your bank account you got money sis now you just need a rider" " Nah that's not my thought process right now" "Okay sis whatever you want. Wanna come out tonight?" "Nah man I'm good, Lemme just go to sleep when I get home". Once we was done locking everything up we said our goodbyes and went on our separate ways, I jumped into my car and he jumped into his. On my way home I decided to pick up some dinner for me myself and I... Knowing full well my folks gon be mad but oh well. As I walked into my favorite little pizza joint out here on Hillsboro, once I walked in I notice this cute girl she fit all of my standards but I still wasn't ready to jump in to that talking stage with anyone but I guess it'll be nice to have a little fun with someone. "Hey Joe can I have the regular" "You got it boss" , I can feel this girl staring into my soul "You know it impolite to stare" " I'm sorry but I can't help it" "Here's my number and text me sometime", as I was walking out of the pizza place I'm pretty sure I left ole girl blushing. I hopped into my car and plugged up my phone back to my bluetooth; I started to blast Drip Too Hard by Lil Baby all the way back to the house. As soon as I walked I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I already knew who was it probably ole girl from the pizza joint. I walked up back into room and started to fuck up my food.

THE NEXT DAY.

I woke up the next morning with a stomach ache and my phone low-key blowing up from this one particular number that I have no idea where or who it is from. After, skimming through the message that this mysterious person was sending I finally realize it was that cute girl from last night, she was blowing a nigga phone up like it was nothing but I think I rather not talk to her like that, too many issues for a sweet girl like herself can handle. So I simply responded back to her as sweetly and bluntly as I can just like this...

" Hey good morning beautiful I'm sorry that I am now seeing your wonderful but yet silly messages but I don't know what I was thinking about giving you my number but you shouldn't talk to me I'm not right in the head at the moment and a girl like you should not talk to me. So please as a favor delete my number", as I pressed send it looked like a small paragraph but I do hope she understands.

'You are so pitiful Jaelyn' ' You'll never find love' ' You ain't shit Jaelyn aint nobody gon love you for you'

As the thoughts in my head continuing to attack me my mother decided to walk in "Hey sweetie you okay" my mother said as she hands me my medication "Yeah mom I'm okay" as I drank my meds down my throat "How long do I gotta keep on taking these meds mom" "Til your depression is gone sweetheart" she kissed my forehead and exited out of my room, all of the sudden my phone dinged twice one of them was from Marocs asking me if i was okay and the other message was from that one chick asking for us to talk anyway and I simply said no and she kept begging for us to talk so I went ahead anyway and started talking to her. We went from talking for a few minutes to a few hours and then ended up talking for a few weeks. But one day as usual as I would text her good morning and as usual she would respond back but this time she didn't but I did not put too much thought into it at first, but then a few weeks has passed and I never heard from her ever again. 'Haha you see you aint shit THAT GIRL WILL NEVER LOVE YOU' ' No One loves you' ' You will never be loved' ' Those friends you have they dont love you' ' Your family they keep you on pills so you won't do nothing stupid you are a waste of space haha', There goes those horrible voices it got deeper and deeper and I no choice to grab my bottles of pills and attempt to down it all. I felt into a overdose high and ooohhhh I can feel the high, it feels so good and so right. 'Hmm I wanna roll at least two blunts' as I thought to myself, I grabbed my stash of gas and my swisher sweets and I started to roll up and once I was done rolling up six blunts, I started to light my very first blunt; I took a long hit from the blunt and man I felt this high on a whole different level. Life finna be great...

Water has been thrown right on my face, I can feel my face being wet but I can't open my eyes, I can hear voices but I can not make out what are they saying. 'Jae why did you have to take all those pills' I hear a voice say to me, it looks like I was in a black room with a very high and faded voices, 'Jae look at me' I can see someone walking towards me smiling in a way. "Papi is that you?" "Indeed it is come here with me real quick" I followed him in to our old house or what it looked like our
old house when I was younger. 'We've been waiting for you for a while now', everyone in this looked exactly the same before passing away especially my grandfather all lovable and humble but he do looks a bit younger just like in my dreams. 'It not your time yet you have to go and live your life first before being with all of us again. Te amo mi nana', he let me go and I felt the air come back to me as I breathe in so hard, I can hear beeping and snores; finally opening up my eyes oh very so slowly... Everything seems so blurry but then I try to talk but I can't so I just cough til I heard some shuffling next to me "Jaelyn you're okay!!!! Doctors?!?!?!? Come QUICK MY BABY IS AWAKE" I can hear my mother yelling on the top of her lungs and all I can see people rushing in checking on me, my heart rate, my breathing, everything you can think of. "Can y'all get the fuck off of me and get me some water!?", the only thing that I can manage to say in this moment and just like that I can hear my best friend and my father chuckling at my outburst "Yup sir that is your daughter" "I know right but she's still in trouble for the stunt that she pulled", I heard what my dad said to me and even then I still manage to also chuckle at my own outburst. But my mother in the other hand she wasn't laughing in fact she was crying she had fear all in her eyes. The doctors finally gave me a bottle of water, "So after running a few test your daughter will be fine by the next morning but you guys are going to have to keep an suicide watch on her for another awhile". All I did was roll my eyes this is what they said the last time when this shit happened to me. More people rushed into my room but this time it was my other few closest friends Mia, Amber, Nellis, Angel and Jasmin, "Jaelyn are you okay?!" they all said in sync, I laughed a little from them being so concern mia slapped my arm "Ochh you bitch" "Don't ever scare me like that again you nigga" jasmin pinched my skin "Hey?!" "Don't hey me you scared the fuck outta me" "I'm sorry" and then Nellis punched my leg "Oouu fuck damn!!!" "I don't care you had all of us worrying sick about you fucking dumbass" "Alright enough all of you niggas" my dad said to us all, " Let her get some sleep we'll drop off your car tomorrow". Everyone finally excited out of the room but one person, Marcos... "Why couldn't you just come to me and talk to me sis like we been the bestest friends for 7 years like we are practically family, my mom consider you like one of us and I know your parents sees me as your big brother finally after all these years. So like why couldn't you just talk to me??" I really didn't say anything just kinda dose off.