Not So Perfect Now {Jc Caylen; Book 2} // DISCONTINUED//

Chapter 2: Wasted

~Jc's POV~

"Jc? what are you doing out here?"

shit. Connor.

"shit" i mumbled.

"Jc..." he sighed... as he came up behind me and sighed again.

"it's not what it looks like.."

he came up and sat next to me on the steps of the hospital. "look Jc, i know this has been hard on you. we know, we understand. but if i remember... you promised Hailey that'd you'd never go back to doing this. i know you have a problem, and do you think Hailey would be proud of you right now? she'd be disappointed and heartbroken."

i knew Connor was right, but i still ignored him. maybe if i ignored everyone they'd just leave me alone. i don't think anyone really knows what i've been going through. sure, Connor is Hailey's brother... but he doesn't love her like i do. i just hope, they surgery goes well... i don't believe in it but i was outnumbered. 

"what's in the flask?" he asked.

"vodka" i murmured. "it was the only alcohol i could find at the time"

"Jc, what you need to realize is this is probably hurting us more that it's hurting you. we hate to see you like this. if Hailey was here i know she'd-"

"stop acting as if she's DEAD! SHE'S NOT! SHE'S JUST IN A COMA!" i screamed.

i felt Connor move is hand away from my back, as he sighed. "i know she's not dead but she's technically not here. she's in her own little world inside her head. she determines if she lives or not"

"i thought that was the surgery and doctor's job"

"look Jc, all of us are just worried. and i think you're worried as well. we all want to know that she'll be okay. we all want to know who did this to her. we all want to know what really happened that night with her brother. we all want to know who's behind all of this. all of us will get through this together, just wait in see. now, we'd all appreciate it, if you came back inside, without the flask but i won't force you too" Connor began as i saw tears form in his eyes.

"i know this is hard for you, but it's just as hard for me too. she's my sister, and i love her as well. and i want her to be okay as much as you do. and i know i haven't shown my emotions, but i'm dying inside. i'm trying to be strong okay?" he asked, as he wiped his tears before returning to the hospital.

i waited until he left, before looking down at the silver flask. is this really who i've turned into. someone who has to drink their problems away? i really just want Hailey to wake up. i miss her so much.

"to Hailey" i raised the silver flask before taking another sip of vodka.

~

i had spent about an hour and a half outside. i stayed outside until my flask was empty. and i had to admit i was feeling a little bit tipsy. i tried to stand up but felt my knees wobble. i grabbed onto the rail of the stairs and gripped it as i made my way up the stairs. it took a lot for me to walk back into the hospital. but i did. Kian noticed me first. and boy he was not happy with me.

"HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING AGAIN?!"

"Kian..." Connor warned him.

"AFTER YOU PROMISED HER" he yelled again. i knew i deserved this. i deserved it all.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"Kian stop. we don't need to go there" Connor pushed Kian back.

"where's the doctor?" Trevor asked, as he tried changing the subject.

at least someone wasn't yelling at me.