Loving the Enemy

8-Olivia

Dear someone,
Do you remember being a kid and not knowing what fear really was? Like ask yourself what your afraid of now, for me I suffer from social anxiety so basically my fear is other people opinions of me. But when I was like a baby I didn't care about none of that shit. Like I would allow people to talk about me and pinch my cheeks tell me how I was a chubby baby and just drool and giggle so cluelessly and free now if you even look at me the wrong away I feel out of place. I guess my question is do you remember what it feels like to not give a fućk about things you have no control of? Do you remember being practically fearless? You probably don't. I don't think a lot of us will ever again.
-Olivia

He's different from high school boys. His names Jeremy and he use to work at the comic book store, he actually quit the same day I had ran in there randomly, he says it's faith and I believe him.
I guess it does have to rain for the sun to peep through and for life to create a rainbow out of a bad situation.

He's walking me home from the coffee shop we went after chatting at the comic store, I'm still shoeless but he gave me his coat and with him I no longer feel so cold. "That guy sounds like he likes you," Jeremy suddenly says after a while of me toning him out. My eyebrows frown in confusion. Did he hear anything I've been telling him in the last hour? "Are you crazy? I told you about how he tied my shoe laces together when we had our annual school race and caused me to land straight on my face knocking my bottom tooth out my mouth in the first grade right? Jeremy winces and shakes his head slowly. "Wow. Actually no you didn't, but damn that's pretty intense for a six year old to do, have you tried taking to his parents about this?"

My breathing hitches at the memory of the first time I ever tried to confront his parents about the situation. It was when he told everyone I peed on myself when really he put water on my seat so I would sit on it. I went over to his house by myself to afraid to confront my mom about the embarrassing situation. I went to the door to hear yelling before I even go the chance to knock. Yet still somehow my six year old self had my courage then I do now and I knocked three solid times. I heard a few loud noise before finally Mr. Green opened the door. He had been drinking but at the time I had no idea why he looked so unsteady and his eyes were wobbly. Yet he has that same evil look in his eyes when he saw me as he did when his son does. He looked so shock to see me standing at his door I thought he was gonna have a heart attack he stared at me for a long time before he finally asked me,

"What the hell are you doing here? Does your mother know your over here, did she send you?" He yelled outraged and accusingly. I remember almost peeing on myself for real in that moment but I managed to shake my head no. "Um Mr, sir your son um Kyle he um been bullying me at school and I-"
"If Kyles been bullying you he must got a good reason now get off my property and never step foot near this household again." I ran home and never looked back again. I didn't know at that time Mr. Green and at the time his first wife were working on getting a divorce and his only outlet was booze.

"Yeah but his dad wasn't really much help," I say lowly. Jeremy looks at me concerned and then a weird look crosses his face.
" Do you need...help? I mean Olivia what he's doing to you isn't alright, you told me he fractured your arm. Now he's throwing you and pools like he own you. Maybe you should take legal actio-"

"NO!" I say cutting him off immediately. I've thought of it briefly before but I always seemed like such a dramatic approach and I know what he's done is wrong but it's always been somewhat harmless in ways though malicious I've always felt like he never really meant for bad things to happen and that he just thinks there mean pranks.

"It's not like I ever told him to like stop you know? But I did knee him in his balls didn't I tell you that!" Jeremy still looks concerned but I shove him with my shoulder reassuringly. We both laugh for a second and in that moment, we're just two people. Laughing, joking and being. So naturally that is insane it feels almost as if I've always known him. I wish he lived across the street instead.

I wish I could have fell for someone like him instead. Sometimes I think I subconsciously like to end up heartbroken.