Haunting Me (A Completed Steamy, Romance)EDITING

Part 36

Joey

We arrived home a few hours ago, and Serenity is already out with Riley.  Mason is in his room, and it's a beautiful day to enjoy the warm Texas spring. 

I have been worried out of my mind all day.  I'm worried that Jackson will be physically harmed, and I'm worried Hudson will do something he regrets. 

I don't know if I'm a widow, or soon to be a divorcee.  My children have their father, and that's one blessing.  Question is, how long they will have him? Will he cave and go back to his wife, or will he take Mason back to Washington and away from me?

I decided to sit by the pool with a book.  I tried to read, but too many things are running through my mind.  Picturing Jackson beat to death, Hudson going back to Hannah and having a happy family, me alone, and Serenity back in London.  It's all just too much.

I laid my head back and closed my eyes.  Soon, my mind drifted to Hudson, back to the memories that kept me alive all these years. 

Prom night is at the top of my list of happy memories. The way he loved me, was like nothing I could ever imagine again.

"Jesus Christ, how in the hell did you ever have my children?  There's no way that body ever carried those babies." I heard a deep voice.

I opened my eyes and saw a towering figure standing above me. I sat up quickly.  "Is he alive?"  I asked.

Hudson sat down on the lounger next to me.  "He was when I left. The FBI no longer wants him, so his fate is in the hands of the CIA.  It's out of my hands, I won't make that decision."  He said.

I felt like I couldn't breathe.  "They're going to kill him?"

"Shh, calm down." He sat next to me and put his arm around me. 

"No matter what happens, you are free now." He said.

"Free for what, Hudson?" My hands are shaking.

"For yourself, Joey.  My God, you can do anything you want with your life now.  You have to remind yourself who you once were, because you are not the girl I once knew."

"That's right, I'm a woman who hasn't made but one choice in my life."  I said.

"You chose me, you chose my life and my family's lives over your own.  It's time for you to start to live for you." He said.

"How can I do that, when I don't know if I'm a widow or if I need a lawyer? I'm nowhere near free yet, Hudson.  I'm married to a man I never wanted, but I do care for him.  I know you don't understand, but it's all I've ever known." I'm not crying yet.

"That's not true, Joey.  Don't ever say that's all you've ever known. We were young, but we knew how to live, how to love, and we created two wonderful children together.  You've known such a true love, that most will never experience." He held me close, and I feel at home with his hand resting on my bare side, and its that touch I've never forgotten.

"You're right." I turned my head to look at him, but it hurt. "But you've had it twice." I got up and walked toward the house.

I felt a strong hand grab my arm and flip me around, then he looked down at me.  "I've had it once, and don't you ever doubt what we had wasn't rare, Joey.  I told you that you are the love of my life, and I meant it."  He said.

"A life that's now in Washington with a wife and child, they're waiting for you." I said.

"How many times do I have to tell you that she is not my wife?  She's the mother of my son, but so are you.  You're also the mother of my daughter, and the only woman I've ever wanted. What Hannah did was wrong, but what I did was worse.  I used her for seventeen years.  I used her to heal me, when there was only one woman that could ever give me what I needed."  He said.

He pulled me into him and looked down at me. "I don't know what our future holds, but I am hoping you will realize, it's only you that can put yourself back together, then you will know what you want.  Take that fucking ring off your finger, Joey.  You're allowing him to hold you prisoner, and he is gone."  He said.

I backed away, pulled the ring off my finger and threw it.  "Is that what you wanted?  Look, it's still me!  I'm broken Hudson, and you have a woman in D.C. who isn't broken!"  I cried.

"Why do you keep bringing her up?  Are you jealous that I spent that time with her?  You shouldn't be, because she was the biggest mistake of my life!" He yelled at me.

"Jealous? Not jealous, but realistic!  You have to go back to D.C. for your son!  Where does that leave our children? Hannah was right, they're almost grown and you were cheated out of two children, but you have that chance with Jake.  Mason thinks you are some kind of God, and I..."

"You what, Joey?" He took a step closer.

"You are the other half of me! It isn't Jackson holding me prisoner!" I cried.

"Who is it then, Joey?"

"It's you! Eighteen years ago, I gave myself to you.  You've had me all along. That woman in France and London, was only a shell of the girl I was with you! Every single time he raped me, I shut him out and thought about your gentle touch.  He couldn't destroy me, the only person that could ever destroy me is you.  Quit telling me to find myself, Hudson."  I yelled.

"You're saying I'm what makes you whole?" He asked.

"Mom?  Are you okay?" Serenity walks toward me, and I wiped my tears away, turning to face her.

"Yes, Hudson just came from Atlanta, he doesn't have any news yet." I said.

"Oh, I thought Dad escaped or something.  Did you see him?" She asked her father.

"Yes, but I'm not on the case. All I know is that he is no longer wanted by the FBI.  His father gave them what they wanted, so the CIA may or may not want to mess with him now."  He said.

"You don't believe they will let him go, just like I don't believe the CIA will let my grandfather go.  They know too much, and maybe it would be best if they just got it over with, so we can start our lives." She said.

"Serenity, you can't mean that, he was your father your whole life," I said.

"You are the most naive woman I've ever known." She turned to walk away.

"Serenity, wait.  What does that mean?"  I asked.

Before I knew it, Hudson was staring down at her.  "What the fuck did he do to you?"

"Hudson, I already asked her."  I said.

He held his hand out at me to stay back.

"Serenity, he said something, and now I'm thinking I took it the wrong way, so answer me now.  What did he do?"  Hudson asked.

When my daughter started to cry, my legs gave away.  Hudson had her in his arms in a second, and all I could do was fall to the ground.

"Did he rape you?" I looked up, and asked.

"No, he just touched me.  It stopped before we left France when Grandpa Lattire put a gun to his head.  I was so scared. Grandpa got up in the middle of the night and heard something, so he opened my door.  Dad almost died that night, but told Grandpa that his father had Grandma Lattire, and she wasn't dead. That she would live as long as he had us."  She said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hudson let go, and she sat down next to me.  "He was drugging you and you slept so much.  I was afraid you would think it was your fault."  She said.

I looked at Hudson. "Do it!"