Chapter 1: Anxiety and Algebra

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Cassie Winters

I'd like to think of myself of a generally optimistic, glass is half full kind of person – but as Mr. Davidson walks through the rows of desks handing back our tests, my first thought was: oh no! I failed. I resisted the urge to bang my head against the desk, or beg for mercy, although both options seemed promising just then.

"So, how'd you think you did?" Amanda asked from behind me, her voice barely a whisper. Mr. Davidson is far from the most lenient of teachers, and Amanda, easily one of the most popular girls in the grade, probably had somewhere to be after school. I was surprised she'd risk getting detention just to talk to me.

I groaned. "Horrible – I think I failed." Tension coursed through every vein in my body, and I snapped a pencil I didn't even realize I was holding in half.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my god. Cassie, you say that every time, and you always get one of the best scores in the class. Stop worrying." She was playing some sort of game on her phone but didn't seem to be giving it much attention. She's right though - I'm near the top of every class.

"I know, I just can't help it. Maybe it's genetic or something, because my brother is the same way." Or at least he was a few years ago. I don't know him too well now.

"Yup, that could be it." Amanda smiled at me, before turning to talk to the person next to her. I sighed inwardly. Now I had no one to talk to.

"So, did you hear that Tyler's brother –"

For the last few years, it'd been like this – having no real close friends. After the incident with my sister, friends were far from my top priority. Then one day, I looked around and I had no one left to talk to, no one I was close to. Guess that's what six months burying yourself in schoolwork, trying to cope does to you. I had plenty of people I talked to, but there was a difference between people you talked to about homework and classes, and people who'd text you and listen to you rant. I couldn't even think of one person who had my number. I reached into my bag and grabbed my copy of Pride and Prejudice. Reading it was.

Because of my luck, my test was one of the last handed out, and the classroom was filled with noise: people were leaning over desks and comparing test scores, and just generally talking. I almost couldn't hear Mr. Davidson as he put my test on my desk. "Well done, Cassandra," he said. "You scored the best in the class."
"Thank you." I flipped over my test paper as the panic I'd felt was replaced by the warm, fuzzy feeling of pride. A ninety-eight was scrawled on the page, and only a single question was marked wrong. I groaned inwardly. My answer for x had been off by less than one point. Still, I was proud of what I accomplished. I'd gotten the best mark in the class, which meant I'd beat...

I glanced over at James, who sat next to me. Ever since school started two months ago, we had engaged in a friendly competition as to who could get the highest marks in the classes we were in together: Science, French, and Math.

"What'd you get?" I asked him, leaning over to check his paper.

"Ninety-six," he said briskly. His eyes darted towards my paper.

"I got a ninety-eight," I smiled triumphantly. "That puts me in the lead by one percent. Better luck next time."

James pushed his glasses back. "Don't get too cocky, Cassie. You'll need luck next time. Plus, I'm winning in French by a landslide." He was grinning.

"Alright, French isn't my best subject. Also, how is five percent a landslide?"

"So, you admit I'm better than you at French?"
"That is so not what I said!" I turned back toward the front of the class. "You're clearly delusional."

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