I Never Gave Up

Another Nightmare

I wake up and slowly get out of my bed, chilled as soon as I lift the covers off myself. I stare down at my arms and legs, covered in bruises from last nights argument with my latest "father". I get up and walk over to my small vanity at the end of my bed and look in the mirror at my reflection. looking back at me is a girl with emerald green eyes, jet black hair and pale skin. Under different circumstances I could have been considered beautiful, but like I said, under different circumstances. My eyes have dark purple circles under them and my cheeks are hallowed in to a point where my cheekbones are beginning to jut out. I am very thin, too thin. Partially my own fault, the other part the lack of income.

My name is Helena, I am fifteen and when I was a baby I was found outside an orphanage with only a note and a small black necklace with a skull carving in the centre. I suppose my parents didn't want me. I sigh and bring my gaze away from the girl in the mirror. I put on my skull necklace which now fits me as almost a choker and start to apply make up to hide the horrors that I face everyday. I get dressed in a my favourite ripped black skinny jeans and a longs leave black shirt. Then I add a baggy black hoodie in order to hide my continuously thinning figure, grab my backpack and tiptoe out my bedroom door. The second I exit my room I am attacked by the disgusting smell of alcohol filling the tiny apartment. No doubt left over from David's drinking spree last night followed quickly by him beating me for not being his real daughter, all while Karen sat in her room ignoring the whole situation.

My body ached in pain as I passed the kitchen, not bothering to get anything to eat, and walked out the door. I hurry down three flights of stairs and exit the building, immediately greeted by the loud vibrant city of New York. I wait five minutes before the school bus arrives and climb on. I pass my peers and head straight for the back of the bus and sit down while putting in my headphones to block out the drone of incessant teenagers with music. The bus pulls back into the traffic and continues it's journey to the hel I call high school. I stare out the window at the people hurrying along the sidewalks on there way to work as the bus pulls up to a traffic light when I notice a man very unlike all the others around him. He does not rush down the street or push through the crowds. Instead he stands very still in the middle of the sidewalk... and stares directly at me. I am taken aback by the intensity of his gaze and now try to make him out more clearly. He has shoulder length slick black hair and pale skin. He wears a black coat with green scarf and has green eyes. No, not green eyes, emerald coloured eyes, that are staring right through me it seems. The bus springs back to life as the light changes and I begin to decipher the mans stare, it is no longer threatening, but sad. and before I can try to grasp more of who he is, the bus pulls away and I turn up my music and let myself forget about the man with the green eyes.

-that night-

I can her Karen and David outside my room screaming at each other over another bill, or fine or something! I never know what it is but what I do know is that in a twisted way I'm just happy that their anger is not directed at me tonight. I hear the crash of what sounds like David smashing the kitchen table and I quickly scurry to hide under my bed, pulling my blanket under and wrapping myself with it as I lay against the cold ground. My body shakes with hunger and fear and my stupid stomach refuses to quit it's growling. "Why do I live like this? What did I do to deserve this pathetic excuse of a life? ...why?" I whisper to myself over the shouting. I try to hold back the tears that I can tell are going to come anyways. I hug my blanket tighter around myself and break down as I let the tears go. Wishing it would all just go away, I cry myself to sleep to the sounds of crashes and screams and yells.