The next day at school was gloomy. The air was thick and the vibe was just not there. Kayley's death was announced. There were a lot of tears, consolations, denial and no one really felt like doing anything for the rest of the day. The teachers were crying, and the school authorities did what any other school would do, damage control.
Aiden sat with his friends during lunch. They finally understood what had him disturbed since the past few days. Nate stuck by his side all day, but there was something Aiden wasn't telling his friends, he never told them how much Kayley really meant to him. He didn't exactly know why he didn't tell them though. Was it out of fear of how his last relationship went down, or was it—she was all about being open and honest. Aiden thought. It was something I couldn't ever give her. Aiden abruptly stood up, everyone turned to look at him. The occasional stares from his friends was burning holes inside him. He felt constantly judged. So this is what Kayley used to tell me. This is how she felt. He thought. Kayley tried multiple times to explain her anxiety to so many people, but it's difficult, no matter how modern the society will become, some things never change.
As Aiden walked towards the exit to go for a walk, he bumped into Hannah. Looked like she needed a breather too.
"Headin out?" She asked.
"Yeah." He nodded and pushed open the door, welcomed by cool air.
"It's just too—"
"Stuffy and obnoxious in there? Yeah I know how you're feeling." She completed for him. Aiden nodded and started walking.
"The amount of praises and little things about Kay I've been hearing all day. I hope she knew What her random acts of kindness meant to people around her. I hope she's seeing all this from where ever she is right now." Aiden said.
"Do you believe in afterlife?" Hannah asked. Aiden looked at her with a perplexed look.
"I am indifferent to its existence. What about you?" He replied.
"If Kay wasn't feeling it here, and she felt the struggle and thought that whatever would come later after...after killing herself was better, then I just hope she enjoys her well deserved paradise." Hannah said.
"I still don't get it Hannah. Nothing is matching up. The note she left," he held out his chain in his hand, "this right here, your necklace, this pain. What made her do this?" Aiden let out his bottled up feelings. In these past few days only Hannah knew exactly what he meant.
"I want to know as much as the second person Aiden. My best friend, we shared everything, then why not this? What did I do wrong? Where did I let her down? So many questions unanswered." She said.
"I love Kay, and it really sucks I never got to tell her and treat her right." He sighed and continued walking.
Kayley's memorial was in two days, on friday in the afternoon. Alex took the responsibility of it all. He thought keeping his mind occupied, he wouldn't fall apart. He kept it all minimal, just the way Kayley is-was. Alex took a short leave from work, they readily gave him one too, he remembered that one day he took Kayley to work with him on take your child to work day. Kayley always jokingly complained how Alex was like another Dad to her. So he figured it would be pretty fitting to do that. Everyone loved her sweet smile, especially his boss. Kayley laughed at all of his jokes and it just made his boss very happy. He was coming to the funeral too.
Alex walked over to Kayley's room, his fingers lightly brushing over the things that came in his way, the lava lamp on her nightstand, her plushy stuffed toy owl, and her desk chair. He stopped infront of her desk. On the wall hung a metal golden colored grid with fairy lights hanging on them. Little makeshift polaroids clipped on to the grid. There was a picture of a bouquet of roses in the shawdow of what looked like window blinds. There was a picture of her friends and one last one with just the two of them. Alex unclipped that polaroid and brushed his thumb over the picture as he held it in his hand. He rembered that day at the outlet mall that was 2 hours away and they grabbed milkshakes from a local deli. Kayley insisted that they take pictures at the mall right before the sunset. Alex smiled at the memory. Things did spiral down somehow after his job got busy. He spent less time at home, and when he did, he was tired. He got pissed at everyone a lot, the stress from work, worked him up. Maybe if he spent more time with her, he would've sensed something. Kayley would've been here.
