Amnesia

Epilouge

Cyrus' POV

I look into the mirror to see what the suit looks like. I look at my eyes to see if it was obvious I've been crying.

My mom knocks on the door. "Cy, are you ready?"

"Yeah, you can come in."

She comes in. "Oh, Cyrus." She hugs me. "I'm so sorry."

"You've been saying that a lot, Mom. You didn't kill him, it's not your fault."

"I know. Are you okay?"

"No. I will be. Probably not anytime soon, and especially not now. But, sometime, I will be."

"I can't imagine how his family feels."

"Speaking of, I'm gonna text Amber."

"Alright, I'll leave you be. I'll call you when it's time to go."

"Okay."

To: Amber
Cyrus
Hey, Amber
Cyrus
Are you coming to the funeral?

Amber
Yeah
Amber
Everyone else is
Amber
I'll be partially okay. You, Iris, and Andi will be there

Cyrus
I can't wait for the looks of pity
Cyrus
Is your dad gonna be there?

Amber
No
Amber
The day TJ, left, mom and I were upset. Dad said that he liked that TJ was gone
Amber
"I couldn't stand him any longer. I might've killed him myself."
Amber
I had no idea that someone could say that so easily about their own son, and I cried harder, and mom kicked him out

Cyrus
My god
Cyrus
I hope he doesn't show his face cause I might kill HIM
Cyrus
Let's see how he likes it
Cyrus
No one can say something like that about TJ and get away with it

Amber
That's how I felt

Cyrus
My mom just said it's time to go
Cyrus
I'll see you there

Amber
See you

I turn off my phone and go downstairs.

We arrive where the funeral is. I get out of the car and see Amber at the front,

"Hey Amber. Are Andi and Iris not here?"

"No, they're inside. I was waiting for you."

I smile. "Thanks Amber."

"No problem." She takes my hand and we walk inside.

Amber let's go of my hand and goes to sit with Andi and Iris, Andi on the outside. Ally is next to Iris and I'm guessing McKenna is next to her. Jonah is on the other side of McKenna and Walker next to him. Marty is next to Walker and then Buffy. I sit next to Buffy.

(In case you didn't get it, Cyrus walks in and on the right side of him is this:
Andi,Amber,Iris,Ally,McKenna, Jonah,Walker,Marty,Buffy, Cyrus
Doesn't go down another row, it's all on the same row)

Soon, the service starts.

"Today, we gather to mourn the death of TJ Kippen. Yes, TJ does stand for something, but before he died he said that he does not want his full name to be said at his funeral. TJ's mother, Eleanor, come up to the stand to say a few words."

Eleanor stands up, and goes up to the stand.

"TJ, was my youngest child. I raised him. I watched him grow. I watch him and Amber get along so well. They held each other whenever their father would get mad, at me or them. They held each other when we were fighting. Before TJ's death, and before I kicked Donald out, it didn't matter how old they were, they held each other when their dad became too much. When they were younger and I sent them to their grandparents because their dad had an alcohol problem, and became abusive, they held hands walking to the door. When they came out to me, after their dad showed he was homophobic, they held hands. They held hands, and held each other whenever they were scared. I remember when TJ came back from the hospital, after his memory had been lost, his dad was yelling at him after he saw him kiss his boyfriend, Cyrus."

Buffy grabs my hand.

"Amber came into the room, and grabbed his hand to drag him away. Whenever they're sad or scared, holding hands or each other made them feel better. TJ could cheer Amber up, when no one else could. Amber could cheer TJ up, when no one else could. Even if I have another child, it will never replace TJ. Thank you."

"I now call TJ's sister, Amber, to the stand."

I see Amber stand up, and let go of Andi and Iris' hands. She goes up to the stand, it's obvious she'd been crying.

"Everything my mom said was true. When we lost our grandpa, TJ was there, our first dog, TJ was there. Anything I lost, TJ was there. Anytime I felt down, doesn't matter if it was because of a movie, show, book, or anything like that, to a crush, TJ was there. But now, he's gone, and he can't comfort me. He's not here. I have two amazing girlfriends, and as much as I love them, they can't comfort me the way he did. I'll feel better with their help, but not as quick. And they understand that."

I look over at Andi and Iris, they nod their heads.

"Thank you for listening." She looks down at the casket. "Thank you, TJ, for being there for me when I need you."

She leaves the stand and sits back down with Andi and Iris.

"Would anyone else like to say a few words?" No one raised their hand. "Alright, I now call TJ's boyfriend, Cyrus Goodman, to the stand."

I stand up and look at Buffy.

"You got this," she mouths. I nod.

I go up to the stand.

"Um, hi guys. I didn't prepare a speech so I guess I'll just speak from the heart. TJ was my first boyfriend, but definitely not my first crush. I've never felt this way about anyone. I think I realized I liked TJ was when we met at the swings. I realized I loved him when I thought I lost him after the dirt bike accident. His last words were, "I love you, Cyrus. I'm sorry I never got to tell you that before." I never got to say it back. I wish I'd said it sooner. I wish he didn't have to go home because he told his dad he was there and his dad was going there. I wish his dad wasn't as homophobic as he was. Maybe if he hadn't met me he wouldn't be dead."

I was crying now. I tried my best to hold it back, but I can't anymore.

"I'm going to miss you, TJ. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you never got the life you deserve. I'm sorry I never gave you the love you deserve. I love you. So much. And it's good to know you love me too. You're in a good place, I hope. That's where you deserve to be. It's good to know that you might be looking down."

I leave the stand and go sit back next to Buffy. She puts her arms around me.

"You'll be okay."

"I know."

After the service, we go to the burial. Amber, Andi, Iris, Buffy, and me are still here. Amber just left the gravestone and Andi and Iris are comforting her. Buffy is standing next to me, looking at the grave.

"It doesn't feel right to say goodbye, Buffy."

"Then it's not goodbye. It's just see you later." She says, and puts an arm around me.

"You're right. It's see you later."

"Come on, your mom is waiting."

She leads me back to my moms car. She hugs me goodbye and goes back to her car.

I look back at the gravestone. I smile.

"See you later, TJ. I love you." I whisper. I then get in my moms car and drive away.