Good Years || ziam au✔️

t w e l v e || when we confessed

Past
December 31st, 2011
Saturday night
11.45 P.M.
Tomlinson's & Styles' Flat
London, England

Despite it being New Year's Eve, Zayn did not want to be there. While everyone was having fun and couldn't await the new year, he just wanted to be alone and at home. He wasn't really in the "welcoming the new year!" feeling, knowing that Liam and Danielle were located in the same room as him. He just wasn't looking forward to see them kiss once the clock stroke midnight. Ever since the kiss, things seemed different between him and Liam. The brunet treated him a lot differently which was weird.

"Zayn! Why aren't you drinking more?" Louis' voice brought the eighteen year old back to reality. He looked over at the older bloke.

"Not really in the mood mate." Zayn responded with a small chuckle.

"Oh come on." Louis chuckled and plopped down beside him, handing him his cup of booze. Zayn tried not to roll his eyes and instead replaced it with a false smile, looking up at him.

"I'm not thirsty, but thank you." He handed him his cup back and was ready to stand up, but the caramel haired latter pulled him back down. "Louis–"

"Shut up." Louis interrupted him rudely. "Now I am tired of you always moping around because of Liam and Danielle. I get it, okay? I get it. But you have to live a little. Go look for another guy to shag or at least make out with for the new year instead if pining after someone you can't get." He said and looked at him, sighing. "I'm sorry Z, but- you need to move on."

Zayn stared at him, a little hurt by his words. "Way to be a fucking supportive friend." He scoffed before getting up and quickly walking away, Louis sitting there surprised. He just wanted to help Zayn not get more hurt than he already was, but he guessed that one backfired big time.

"Wait, Za–" Before he could stop him, Zayn had already disappeared in the crowd.

The dark haired latter was making his way somewhere more quieter, a place where people weren't drunk nor high. He just needed some time to think to himself. Maybe Louis was right. Maybe he needed to stop pining after Liam and move on. There were plenty of other fish in the sea he could be with. If he specifically found a fish he actually liked as much as his bandmate.

He sighed and plopped down on the bed once he found a quiet place. He fell back on the soft covers, rubbing at his eyes with his palms and grimacing a little. He hated it. He hated the entire situation he was in. The only people that knew about his sexuality where Louis, Liam, Niall and Harry – and one of the security guards, Paul, as well as the girlfriends of Liam and Louis. They were the only ones. He didn't have the guts to tell his family yet because he was afraid of getting shunned by them. It was already enough that he was caught kissing a boy at school and he had to assure them that he wasn't gay once the word spread around town. It made him feel guilty keeping it a big secret, but he had to do what he had to do.

There was a knock on the door, making the eighteen year old lift his head up. "Come in!" He called out and watched curiously as the door opened, only to reveal the familiar brunette. "Hey." He spoke up softly, smiling at his best friend.

"What do you want?" Zayn seemed a little annoyed, propping himself up with his elbows.

"First of all, drop the attitude and second of all, Louis told me you wandered off so I decided to look for you." Liam told him and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. "What's wrong Z?"

"Nothing's wrong." Zayn replied and shrugged, turning onto his stomach.

"We both know that's a lie."

"Who says I'm lying?"

"Zayn," Liam sighed, "you have been in a mood the entire night. It's New Year's Eve. Lighten up a bit." He gently nudged Zayn's leg, looking down at him.

"That's easy for you to say." The dark haired latter mumbled under his breath, but it was loud enough for Liam to understand word for word.

"What do you mean by that?" Liam asked him, completely confused.

"The new year will feel like the old year. Nothing is going to change. It's all just in your head. It's all just an illusion. We're just getting closer to our deathbeds." Zayn explained and finally turned around to look at him. "You make it as you want, but it's still the same shit, just a different day."

"Zayn..."

"Don't Zayn me." The Bradford lad scoffed.

"What's up with you lately?" Liam asked, growing frustrated with him.

"What's up with me? Seriously? Ever since the fucking kiss you treat our friendship differently. You give me these weird fucking vibes. It's like- it's like you want me and give me hope but end up pushing me away and it makes me feel like shit, Liam! That's what's up with me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Stop playing dumb! You know I'm in fucking love with you and you probably have known ever since we got put in the band together!" Zayn practically yelled, his heart beating fast in his chest. He didn't realize what he said until a few seconds later, noticing the surprised look on Liam's face. His eyes widened and his breath hitched, body frozen in shock.

Oh shit.

"You- you're in love with me?" Liam asked, utterly surprised.

"Did- did I say that- I meant- I- um," Zayn stammered over his words, not being able to find them. He couldn't believe he just said that. His heart started to beat crazy in his chest, his mind spinning. There was a lump forming in his throat, his hands beginning to sweat as he grew nervous.

"Zayn," Liam looked at him with a stern look, "are you in love with me?" He asked him, his voice soft and soothing. It made a shiver run down the older latter's spine and his heart do an acrobatic flip in his chest.

Zayn sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes staring into Liam's. He gulped thickly, not knowing what to say anymore.

"It- it doesn't matter." He cleared his throat and shook his head. "I just- I didn't mean it like that." He lied, getting up. Before he could climb out of the bed, Liam pulled him down and pinned him on the bed.

Zayn was taken back by Liam's sudden take in action, staring up at the brunet with wide eyes. "Liam, what the–"

"Shut up." Liam cut him off and gave him a hard gaze, "I'm sick of you always saying that it doesn't matter. It matters to me. It fucking matters to me because I'm also in love with you, Zayn. I'm really in fucking love with you and I realized that after the kiss. I've been in love with you ever since we fucking met at McDonald's but my dumbass just wasn't smart enough to face those feelings. When we kissed, I- it was so different. It felt different. More different than when me and Danielle kiss. Fuck- I love you, Zayn. I fucking love you. And it took me so long to realize it that I–" before Liam was able to even finish what he was saying, Zayn had smashed their lips together, catching the younger bloke off guard.

But instead of hesitating like the first time, he kissed back almost immediately, leaning down some more to deepen the kiss.

It was a slow and loving, yet slightly forceful kiss. Their lips were moving perfectly in sync, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Zayn gripped at the brunet's hair once he let go of his arms. The two hadn't realized that they missed the countdown. They were too focused on each other, that all they could hear were the fireworks exploding outside the house and everyone else cheering and singing.

The two ended up staying in the bedroom, mumbling I love you's and making out, forgetting about everyone outside of the room – including Danielle.