Good Years || ziam au✔️

t h i r t y - t h r e e || when we needed a break

Past
March 25th, 2016
Friday evening
8.45 P.M.
Malik-Payne Mansion
London, England

Zayn had been thinking a lot about this. And he thought it would be the right choice for the both of them. Ever since he left the band, things have seemed off between them. They kept arguing, fighting, ignoring each other to the point where they hadn't spoken to one another in a whole month. It started feeling rather toxic on his side, if he was honest. It felt like unnecessary stress resting on his shoulders. He was already under a lot of pressure and didn't need to risk more.

That night was the night he was going to talk to Liam. Despite it being the release date of his first solo album, he felt like it was finally the right moment to talk about it to him.

Zayn sat quietly on the couch as he stared at the coffee table, being deep in thought. He was trying to figure out how to talk to his husband about it without ruining anything – although, chances were he would anyway. While the brunet was preparing some expensive champagne and food in the kitchen to celebrate his album, the Bradford man was deeply contemplating whether or not he should do it after or before they ate.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when Liam's sweet voice reached his ears. He perked his head up and watched him happily walk up to him, placing down a tray with the food and two glasses. Zayn smiled softly at the sweet gesture and let his lover sit down. Watson was sitting a few feet away from the coffee table, drooling over the food and basically begging for some with his eyes – and low whines.

"Here you go, fresh and homemade." Liam hummed proudly, gesturing towards the homemade sushi he just spent three hours on making.

"Thank you, baby." Zayn leaned towards him and pressed a kiss to his stubbled cheek. He appreciated that Liam took a night off for them to spend time together on his album release day – and the fact that he just spent three hours fixing up dinner for the two of them.

"Anything for you." The Wolverhampton man captured Zayn's lips in a loving kiss.

Zayn couldn't help but smile, cupping one of Liam's cheeks and kissing him with just as much love and passion. That caused his stomach to churn a little. He was starting to feel guilty about wanting to do this. Of course he loved Liam. He loved him with all his heart. And despite the struggles they were having at the moment, there were some really good and memorable times. Yet Zayn had been realizing for the past couple of weeks that they haven't seen much of each other and when they did, it was either for a few days of fighting or a weekend full of sex. Nothing more. He started missing the times they could stay up all night and talk about anything, cuddle on the bed or couch without becoming intimate. He just missed the old times.

Those thoughts made Zayn pull away from the kiss. Liam chased after them once they left his, making him pout. "Baby." He huffed, looking up at them. But his pout turned into a concerned frown when he noticed the look on his lover's face.

"Zayn?" He asked, his voice soft. "What's wrong, baby?" He placed a hand on the older male's knee.

Zayn looked up at Liam. "I-" There were so many words swarming around in his head, yet none of them could form a perfect sentence. He was struggling to get the words out, fearing that Liam might snap or just get up and leave. His heart was beating heavily in his chest and his hands were beginning to shake. He felt anxious and scared. There was a part of him that didn't want to do it, but the other part knew exactly that it was the right thing to do for the both of them.

Zayn didn't even realize he was crying until he felt Liam's hand grab his cheek to wipe away a fallen tear. His bottom lip quivered as he watched him and he stop when the waterworks let loose.

"I'm sorry," he sniffled, looking down ashamed.

"No, baby don't be sorry." Liam shook his head and pulled him closer. "It's okay." He assured him, rubbing his back gently. "What's wrong?"

"I think-" Zayn stopped himself to take a deep breath. "I think we need a break." He managed to get it out of his system, a heavy weight lifting from his shoulders. After those words slipped his mouth, he felt relieve wash over him.

"A- a break? From what?" Liam asked, sounding confused.

"From- From... us, liam..." Zayn said hesitantly, darting his gaze down to his hands. He was fiddling at his shirt, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip.

"R- really? Are you- really?"

"Yeah," Zayn exhaled, nodding his head, "all we have been doing for months is fight. Over small things, big things, anything really. We never really have a decent conversation anymore. It's either fighting or sex. And it's starting to annoy me." He admitted. "Not that the sex is bad. You know how much I love it, but it's just starting to get too much. I miss- I miss the old days. I missed when you and I would just talk. Not pillow talk, talk talk. Like about conspiracy theories, how we're both doing, how we're planning to have a family – that kind of stuff. I miss that." He turned his entire body to Liam, wanting to face him fully. "I miss cooking together, I miss writing songs together, I miss our movie nights. I just- I miss us."

Liam was obviously a little taken back by Zayn's statement, but surprisingly, he was calm. He sat there and listened to Zayn go on and on about what he missed, making him realize that what he was saying was true.

"So- so you want a- a break?"

"Yes." Zayn stated surely. "Not a break as in, you get to sleep with other people, a break as in to figure out how we can continue our marriage without always fighting or arguing." He pointed out, staring at the brunet.

Liam nodded his head, completely understanding what he meant. "Okay." Was all he said, looking at him.

"Please don't be mad, it's just- wait," Zayn stopped himself when he realized what Liam responded with, "you're fine with it?"

"Yeah," Liam shrugged, "if that is what you want and what you need, I respect it." He said softly and grabbed his hand, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I-" Zayn was a little thrown off. "Are you sure you want it?"

"You made a point, Zee. All we ever really do is fight or just have sex. Tonight feels like the only night we had in like... decades where we had a decent conversation without things escalating so quickly." The brunet told him, chuckling lightly. "Just tell me how much time you need and we'll do it."

Zayn blinked. "I- Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Let's say a month? A month and a half?"

Liam chuckled at that. "Let's just see how much time we actually need and go with the flow." He suggested, kissing Zayn's head.

"Good idea." The dark haired latter blushed and smiled a little. "Thank you." He mumbled, leaning against him.

The two still managed to enjoy their night together. They ate, talked and watched some television all whilst cuddling, enjoying their moments before Liam had to leave and they would be on that break for a while.