The Name // Park Junhee

; twenty-five ;

Both Nc.a and I were cooking in the kitchen while Yuchan and Byeongkwan were playing some video games in the living room. And that was when it happened.

I was so into whatever I was doing when suddenly the sound of the knife fell into the sink making me turned my attention to the source of the sound. Nc.a held her left hand in her right and I saw a drop of blood on her finger.

That's when I felt it, the spark of sharp sting on my back.

She quickly turned the tap on and let the water flow on her cut finger, hissed when the water creates a little sting on the cut.

My head was spinning as I was watching her whole move, not able to think anything. Is she really...?

I didn't realise how long had I been staring at her until she asked for a band-aid, waking me up from my trance.

"Oh, yea. Sorry. Give me a sec."

I rushed to get the first aid kit that I put near the kitchen, temporarily forgetting the sting on my back.

Ignoring the electricity rush I felt when our skins touched, I helped her applied some ointments on the cut before wrapping it with a band-aid.

I held her hand for God-knows-how-long just softly caressing it, eyes not leaving her confused ones. "Can you please answer me honestly?" my voice came out low.

"What is it?" I got goosebumps when her voice hit my eardrums.

"What is your name? I know there's no way in the world Nc.a is your real name."

There was an earthquake in her eyes upon hearing my question.

"Why do you need to know?"

"Just because."

"I will tell you but with one condition."

"What?"

"Let go of my hand." And with that, her hand was free from my hold almost abruptly, waking me up from my thoughts.

"Sorry I wasn't in my right mind." I shook my head.

She chuckled, "No it's okay. I just don't want Byeongkwan to walk in on us holding hands like that, he would get a wrong idea."

"Yea, of course." I scratched head, lowering my head now staring at the floor.

"Anyway, to answer your question. Yes, Nc.a isn't my real name. To be honest I always introduce myself as Nc.a sometimes I forget I even have a real name." She fidgeted with her fingers.

"But I think it's a story for another time. Let's finish this first." She moved back to the sink and took the knife. I knew better than to ask more about it so we just continued cooking in silent.

The night went on like a normal sleepover – we had dinner and played a few random games – until I suggested we watch a movie that Byeongkwan and Yuchan started their childish quarrel. Byeongkwan suggested that we watch 'Friday the 13th' but Yuchan strongly disagreed and suggested to watch 'Wreck-it-Ralph' since the movie just came out.

"You just want to watch that because you're scared!" The older exasperated at my baby brother.

"Excuse you, I'm not scared but I've been waiting for this movie to come out since forever so I want to watch this." Yuchan protested as he grabbed the laptop from his best friend's lap.

"Then watch it when you're alone!" Byeongkwan grabbed the laptop back from the younger.

"No, I want to watch it tonight!" Yuchan took the laptop back.

Me and Nc.a decided to stay out of the argument and just sat silently at both corners of the couch.

"Let's vote then." Byeongkwan turned his head to look at me and his girlfriend. "What do you want to watch?"

"Can I please just... not decide?" I replied with a low voice. I might be older than them but I would rather not trigger anyone.

"No! Both of you need to vote." Yuchan disagreed.

I let out a puff of breath before looking at the only girl in the room with a pleading look. "Please say something." I mouthed to her.

She simply shook her head as a sign that she didn't know what to say hence I decided to say the first movie that came into my mind.

"Let's watch 'Love, Simon'." I blurted.

All three of them fell into a short silence before Nc.a smiled and clapped her hand. "Yes, let's watch 'Love, Simon'."

"Please no romance movie." Yuchan protested for the hundredth times that night.

"But you said to vote and 'Love, Simon' got two votes so it's winning." I grabbed the laptop and clicked on the movie I selected.

Both Byeongkwan and Yuchan simply gave up and decided that it's best to just go with it. They both settled on the couch with Byeongkwan lying down, putting his head on Nc.a's lap while she softly ran her tiny fingers between his locks.

My heart dropped at the sight before me. I didn't know if it was jealousy or what I was feeling but I knew I didn't like it.

I tried my best to focus on the movie but my attention kept on averted to the couple in front of me.

Halfway through the movie, soft snores could be heard. My brother was already lost in his dreamland, snuggling into the warm blanket, Byeongkwan curled into a ball and Nc.a seemed like she was in another world.

I let out a soft yawn, feeling the sleepiness that was taking over me so I decided to make myself a cup of tea before properly putting myself to sleep.

I was staring out the window while stirring the tea, making sure I was not making a loud noise in the process when suddenly I heard a soft voice beside me, "a penny for your thoughts?", waking me up from my trance.

We both chuckled at my reaction. I shook my head, "nothing, I'm just a little sleepy. Sorry the movie bore you."

"Don't worry about it. I love the movie but I guess I'm just a little tired today."

"Cup of tea? Or more like, a mug of tea? Sorry we're not really fancy here." Another fit of laughter escaped her mouth.

"Yea, sure I guess."

I made her tea as she took a seat on one of the chairs around the dining table and I followed once I was done, handing her the mug.

"We only have chamomile in the kitchen. Well, I'm not really a tea type of person but Dongh- I mean my ex-boyfriend loves chamomile so he bought shit tons of them." I didn't even notice the smile that was creeping up my lips until she asked, "You miss him?"

I was too stunned at the question to even answer it so I just stared blankly into her eyes. 

I would be lying if I say I didn't miss him. It still felt like a dream, waking up without the warm embrace of the man I love the most. I still cried myself to sleep once every few nights when the thoughts of him suddenly came flooding in but am I going to tell all this to the girl who is possibly my match-made in heaven? No I definitely won't so I just stayed silent for a few moments.

"Sorry." Her voice soft, lowing her head as she avoided my gaze.

"No, don't worry about it. There's nothing to be sorry about." I assured.

We fell into a calming silent before she took a deep breath and let it out with a loud puff.

"Mind I tell you a little about myself?" my eyes widen at the sudden question but immediately answered a quick "sure, anything", making sure my voice was calm enough.

"About my name... you asked me about it earlier."

"I did."

She took another deep breath before turned in her chair to look me straight in the eyes.

"I hate my real name." 

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Yayyy!!! finally updated!!! i hope you guys like this chapter and thank you for reading <3