Tied To A Ribbon

Counter Chapter 2: Differences Between Fathers

Dear Kai,

Lately a lot of things have been bothering me. This will be the first birthday without my father. Usually he would just be late for my birthday, but this time he didn't even show. My brothers and mother tried to cheer me up, but I couldn't help but cry. I... I don't even know why. It's not like he was always really present or close to me, but she always made me feel like I was his one princess and now... I guess I feel like he forgotten about me. Maybe he made another family somewhere else. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make this such a sad letter it's just, you are the only one I feel comfortable enough to write this too. I really miss you and I will never forget you. Thank you for always being there for me.

Sincerely,

Madison Reed

Putting down the letter I bite my lip. I went from leaning down on the chair to sitting straight.

Kai: "I wouldn't admit this to you, Madison Reed, but reading this... back then and even now makes me so angry. And it's not towards you or anyone else. I am angry at myself. I know it's arrogant of me to think that I could be there for each of your tears. Arrogant of me to think that one man could shield you from every heartache and pain. But could you forgive an arrogant man like me, Madison Reed? I love you so much that your pain became my pain and my inability to help you turn to anger. But..." I smile and relax before I continue. "You wouldn't allow me just protect you that easily huh?"

I look to the roof and close my eyes. Beginning to remember the summer of your birthday. June 2, 2007, was a summer to remember. That was the summer things started to change for me.

Dad: "Kai! Let's go son!" My dad says sitting on his old school. It was like a baby blue or light teal punch buggy. No starches and small space. He swings the door open from the other side and gesture me to hurry. I was just picking up some supplies he had left behind before we left for town. We drove west to West Chester. I pulled the window down and looked outside. I always loved the view of the country side. Trees, flowers, people and animals. The fresh smell of air blowing north away from the car. I never wanted to forget how great living outside the city was. Being close to people is great and all, but there's just something about having time to yourself, owning yourself, that always made me feel so free.

My father was never one to really talk during our road trips either. It wasn't that he couldn't, but we both enjoyed the scenery and serenity. It's so peaceful. Within ten minutes of the car ride I wanted to break the silence. I sat back thinking the most recent letter I received from Madison Reed and I sigh. From the corner of my eye I could see my father expression change from calm and happy to serious. He asked me,

Dad: "Zěnmeliǎo?" Which stood for what's wrong in Mandarin. We use it to speak privately even in public areas. I knew how to respond back in Mandarin, but it was easier for me to stick with English.

Kai: "It's just... I got a new letter from Madison Reed." He looked pleasantly surprised.

Dad: "Nà bùshì yī jiàn hǎoshì ma?" I wasn't sure what he said this time so I looked at him with my jaw dropped. He looked at me briefly and laughed.

Dad: "Son you need to start speaking Mandarin if you want to get good at it." I huffed and laid back.

Kai: "I mean yeah, but like there's no one here that speaks Mandarin dad." He looked a little sad and responded.

Dad: "I'm here though... try speaking it with me more." I felt kind of guilty for making my dad feel alone... maybe I should try a bit harder for him. I think he noticed me sulking so He continued, "I said, well isn't that a good thing?" I looked back up to him and did my best to form a sentience.