Brayonnaise: Love in the Mayolight

~for buster brandon~ uwu

Brayonaise: Love in the Mayolight

A PG-13 Short Story

It was morning. You and Brandon had been in a private discord call the whole night, mainly playing games like Moviestarplanet, Roblox, and IMVU. As his editor, you met through a craigslist ad last year, and quickly became a close friends. It's really convenient that you only live 20 minutes away, because Brandon has oddly specific requests for every video. One time he asked you to edit a video of Henry's facecam to make it look like he was a goose. It makes you wonder why he needed an editor if he was so picky in the first place. Maybe he just wasn't talented enough.

"Brandy Wandy, I really need to go to bed, it's like 7am..." you say, exhausted. Your eyes are straining from looking at a screen all night, and your hands are tired of moving.

"I really wish you would stop calling me that." he says, extremely annoyed. You've been calling him Brandy Wandy for the past two weeks, and it's been getting on his nerves the past couple of days.

"Goodnight, Brandy Wandy," you say tauntingly. You sign off of Discord and take off your headphones. Sweet relief, you think to yourself, falling down on your bed. It's not the first time that Brandon has fucked up your sleep schedule -- he and Aksel are always asking you to join calls.

Suddenly, you get a message from Brandon out of the blue.

"Can U come over 2morrow OwO?"

You've seen that text far too many times. Except usually, it just says, "come over and edit my shit." You start typing in your reply.

"Tomorrow, as in today? Or like, tomorrow tomorrow?"

Your phone signals that it's at 99%. You plug the charger in.

"Lwike, today. I 4got it was mowrning. Come over at 4 2morrow? UwU i need hewp with editing thiwngs"

The way he types makes you wish you had cancer. You sigh. It's as if he never needs sleep, ever. But 4 o'clock doesn't seem bad. You could still get a reasonable amount of sleep and get ready by then. Fine.

"Okay. See you then"

You send it and place your head on your pillow, drifting off to sleep almost instantaneously.

At a time that seems too soon, your phone alarm is ringing. Quickly turning off the pussy popping music, You pack up your editing equipment and hop in your ugly ass car to drive over. Traffic sucks in Canada as always, but you don't live near any of the larger cities so it's not the worst. You park in his driveway and open the door without knocking, closing it gently, remembering that gentlemen (like Aksel) and gentlewomen (like yourself) close doors softly. Also, Brandon hates when people knock on his door. One time you knocked on the door and he fell down the staircase because he was startled. For some reason, he's prone to falling down staircases. So now, you've grown to the point where you just walk in, no knocks required. You walk over to the staircase, car keys still in hand.

"Brandon? You here?" you start yelling upstairs. You hear feet shuffling upstairs, followed by the sound of a door opening.

"Yeah, I'll be down in a sec," You hear Brandon say from his room.

You decide to head to the refrigerator to see if there's something to eat. Recently, Brandon has been coming over to your place and eating all your food, so you decide it's time to return the favor. You haven't been to his house in a little while, but you assume he still has ingredients for an iconic "Aksel cheese" sandwich. It was a classic amongst the friend group.

After placing your car keys on the kitchen counter, you shuffle through all the miscellaneous food containers on the fridge shelves. You spot a container of mayonaise next to another container of mayonnaise. What the actual fuck? You think to yourself.