Absolved.

Falling.

[Song: Can you hold me - Nf and Britt Nicole]

I wasn't really sure what had brought me out in the chilly night air, I couldn't sleep, I kept closing my eyes and seeing Kankuro grasping at his throat in pain, or the rare smile I'd seen on Gaara's face before I left to go get Temari. I felt helpless, the last bit of hope Naruto had inspired was faltering. How the hell did things go so wrong?

Temari and I had tucked Kankuro in for the night, making sure to leave lots of water at his bedside. We'd walked home together, to the house that felt so empty now. Temari had let me come to her room, and we had curled up in her bed where I played with her hair until she fell asleep. Sleep wouldn't come to me though, so I decided to get a drink, and now here I was, wandering through the village in an almost fully see through sleeping gown covered only by a thin, kimono like robe. The desert days might be sweltering, but the nights froze, and this wasn't the outfit to be out in.

I'd been walking around the village for almost an hour, nobody else was out, their hearts were too heavy with the loss of the Kazekage to be out making merry. Just the guardians were patrolling the village and I smiled and nodded at the very few I'd passed.

"Kairi, I thought that was you." A male's voice called to me from an open doorway, interrupting my grieving.

I looked up to find it was one of the older men in the village who favoured my attention, I'd meant to avoid his street entirely. I sighed softly, drawing my arms across my torso to cover up my body. "It's me Reo, go ahead back inside."

The man scoffed, insulted and came out of his doorway, drawing the sand coloured robe off of his shoulders as he walked towards me. "And leave such a pretty young thing out in the cold?" He grunted as he tried to wrap me in the robe. I pushed it away, the cold was the only thing I could truly feel right now and I needed it nipping at my skin.

"I'd like to be alone." I told him flatly.

"Come now Princess, let me keep you warm." He insisted, looking at my dress in a way that would have made me afraid if I was in the right mind. The scent of alcohol was drifting from him.

I drew up the iron sand with my magnetic style kekkei genkai and let it waver ominously behind me. "I said I would like to be alone."

Reo glared at the sand, as if he might dare go against it. I was about to lash out at him, I didn't care if I killed him but before I made the move someone was standing in front of me, their arm held defensively in front of my body. "I believe she's told you a few times now that your company is not wanted." Kakashi's voice came, light and playful with a dangerous undertone.

Reo growled under his breath but made his way back towards his house. "A traitor anyways, probably caused this with her traitor fiancé." He was talking about Yura -a council member who had requested an arrangement between us-, but I wasn't sure what he meant in calling the man a traitor. It was common of men to call horrible things as they limp away with their tails between their legs.

"I could of handled that." I sighed, dropping the mineral dust.

"I know you could have." Kakashi said simply, turning around and looking at my face. "But then they would have said the same things about you that they used to about your little brother."

I shrugged, not caring what they said. It was their fault Gaara's life had been so miserable, they had been cruel and unkind and now that he was Kazekage they all wanted to pretend he was their best friend. I balled my hands into fists, my little brother had been taken from me and nobody from my village would lift a finger outside my family. The council was probably trying to pick a new Kazekage right now. I dug my nails into the skin of my palms, I could now feel three things: pain, anger and cold.

"Kairi?" The silver haired Shinobi asked softly, he hadn't bothered to cover his sharingan back up, he was using it to study every subtle movement I made.

"I'm fine." I said in a monotone.

Kakashi nodded, and then turned to walk down the street, hands in his pockets.

"Where are you going?"

"You wanted to be alone, remember?" He said without stopping or looking back at me.

I sighed, another unnamed feeling squeezing at my gut. I'm not sure why, but I didn't want him to leave.

"Please stay." It came out like a breath, not even a whisper but he had heard it. He stood there now, not saying anything and just waiting. I walked until I was standing beside him and then he began to walk with me, keeping my pace. The silence filled the night air and I enjoyed it, the only thing that broke it was the sound of our footsteps. I liked the way he allowed me to speak only if I wanted to, the way he didn't try to fill the silence with meaningless small talk.

"I miss him." I finally broke the silence as we climbed the crisscrossing steps up to the top of the plateau that gave Sunagakure its natural gates.

"Kairi.." He sighed, not in annoyance, just in the way you would if you couldn't think of anything to say. "We will get Gaara back, alive."

We continued to the edge without speaking again, and I stood there looking out over the vast desert wondering how far they could have gotten now while we were here, making no moves.

"You can't just turn it all off when it hurts." Kakashi spoke from somewhere behind me.

I didn't answer him, I knew what he meant though. The reason I wasn't able to feel anything was because I had gone back to my psychological training from the Root. I had activated the autopilot so to speak, I'd pushed every painful emotion behind a solid wall in my mind and shut the good ones down too for good measure.

You have no name.
You have no feelings.
You have no past.
You have no future.
There is only the mission.

I looked down the steep cliff face in front of me, I'd moved myself to perch just at its edge, and the wind whipped by me like it was trying to shred my skin. There was still a bunch of rubble in the pass, but they had cleared away enough that a small pathway led through it. I could see it from where I stood, the corner between the path and open desert. The sand was red down there, the blood of the pursuit squad that was sent with my brother. The wind tried to push me back, and I tried to counter it by leaning forward. The uneasy ground beneath me began to crack and giveaway. My heart wrenched as I began to drop, my feet slid forward as pebbles crumbled and fell down to the rocks below. My robot personality broke and I let out a scream as I fell.

"Kairi!" Kakashi was there within milliseconds with my wrist in his hand, holding me as I dangled from the cliff.

He hauled me back up over the edge, the effort of it made him fall backwards and pull me into his lap where I broke. He held me close to his chest as I cried.

"I'm so sorry." I gripped his shirt in my fist, trying to put my walls back up, to choke down the emotions but the tears kept coming.

He stayed quiet but gently moved himself away from me long enough that he could stand. He hauled me up in his arms and stepped further back from the weakened edge. I curled myself up as small as I could in his arms, hiding my face against his chest as he moved off of the plateau and onto the roof of the hidden training grounds. "Kairi, where is your house?"

I pointed towards the back of the village, to where a round roof stuck out from the cliff side. He began moving towards it, careful not to bounce me too much.

I'd managed to calm myself, not sobbing any longer though tears escaped my eyes.

Kakashi nudged the front door open with his foot and carried me inside, letting me guide him to the back of the house, to my room.