Absolved.

Coward.

[Song: Hole- Rustage and Zach Boucher]

Kakashi opened his eyes slowly, unwilling to leave the dream he'd been having of the future. He found her face in front of his, a peaceful smile on her lips that was rare for the girl who slept so violently. He greatly doubted that she would have the energy for nightmares after the night they spent together though. He almost wanted to wake her with soft kisses, to show her once more his love for her. He wanted to have her again, go for breakfast, laugh with her and live happily ever after the way they had in his dream.

But dreams were just dreams.

Kakashi knew that Kairi was not done lying to him, he'd seen the birds that brought her letters from the fifth Kazekage and he knew what those letters were about. Kairi was still trying to find the secrets to her grandmother's jutsu. She wasn't going to stop while Naruto was still in danger, no matter how much they argued about it.

He felt guilty, he knew Naruto deserved a long and happy life. If anyone did, it was the little knucklehead that gave everything to everyone else. He just didn't want it to be her, he couldn't allow it to be her. She'd spent so long alone and out casted, with no one to care aside from a friend who had betrayed her. She'd finally gotten her family back, the people of Konohagakure accepted and loved her. She had so much to lose.

Kakashi had only her, and the few he was close to.

"You more than her."

The old woman was wise in a way the world didn't understand and he felt she could truly see what was to come. He would lose Kairi, just as he'd lost everyone else.

He carefully pulled away from her, slipping out of the bed and back into his pants. He covered her naked form with a sheet after admiring her for a moment longer.

He couldn't bear to lose her too.

Before he could think of what he was doing, he'd fully dressed, picked up his pack and left their room. He would leave, disappear from her life and she'd go back to sunagakure with her family. She wouldn't have any reason to stay in the leaf village if he wasn't there, and eventually she wouldn't be so close to Naruto. She may not even find out if he was in danger, Kakashi would protect him and she would be oblivious, out of harm's way.

"Where are you off to?" Jiraiya asked from where he sat on the steps outside the hotel.

"To find some breakfast." Kakashi lied.

Jiraiya nodded slightly and then sighed. "You are so much stronger than he was, you know?"

His shoulders slumped, but he had an idea of who the old Sage was speaking of. "Who?"

"Sakumo.."

Kakashi went to protest, to defend his father but Jiraiya held up a hand to silence him.

"Yes, yes. He was brave when it came to missions, one of the most talented and efficient the village had seen." Jiraiya went on. "he would never back down when it came to a mission, no matter how dangerous... But loss.. Sakumo couldn't face loss."

Kakashi stayed quiet, seeing the shape of his father on the ground between himself and Jiraiya the way he had as a kid.

"Sure, he held out for a while after your mom, tried to do his best for you. I remember each milestone you achieved in the academy, everytime they praised you as a Shinobi prodigy it ripped your old man in half.

He was proud of you, always so proud..

But every victory led you closer to being in the field, to taking on missions and being in danger. Sakumo never forgot the danger.. He couldn't face the idea that he may lose his only son the same way he lost her."

He knew what the Sage was talking about now, Jiraiya knew he was leaving her.

"Your father was no coward, I am not saying that. I am just saying that you have faced loss, and you kept going. That girl in there, I cannot begin to guess at what she's lost but I see the same look in her eyes as your own. There is darkness in this world, that is true. There is also fire, a light that burns in your generation and in Naruto's.

There is a path laid out here, something that has been in the making for longer than the stories tell. You can leave that girl in there because you're afraid to lose her, hell, you could even leave Naruto because he's in danger too... Myself because my old age is beginning to get the better of me.. You should probably just leave the whole village, it's already been attacked once right?

But then what would you have left other than your ghosts and your regrets?"

Silence.

He had no idea what to say to the old man.

"Oh, there you guys are." Her voice came from behind him, tentative but sweet. "Are we heading out?"

"What do I know though, I am just a rambling old man." Jiraiya grunted as he rose from his seated position. "Kakashi was just going to look into a lead, c'mon Kairi let's go get some breakfast."

She gazed between the two men, her face puzzled as she tried to figure out what they had been talking about.

Kakashi turned around and gave her a lazy smile, walking to her and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead. "I changed my mind, I'll go with you guys for breakfast." He conceded, pulling his mask up over his face.