Later that night Natasha took the liberty of announcing her and Dr. Banner's departure in the morning. This brought up several question's. Most of which she was reluctant to answer. Most of the other Avengers knew she kept secrets. And to keep her respect and trust, they never pried to hard.
Clint, however, was a different story. He and the spy had been partners for years. Ever since her rehabilitation when she joined SHIELD. He and Natasha had stood side by side since then, and didn't keep secrets from each other unless the other's life depended on it. Which in some cases it did. But to Clint this seemed different. And he was pretty sure he had already figured it out. He subtly slipped away from the other's.
"Banner's not that bad, Tasha," said the archer, following Natasha out into the hall. She stopped in her attempt at a fast paced escape. The spy turned. "What he did before really was an accident. Nat, he didn't intentionally try to hurt you." Damn Barton for knowing her so well.
"You mean try to kill me," she said bitterly. Clint sighed and edged closer. "Dr. Banner is to unpredictable. I can't trust him." It was useless to try and lie at this point. He would see right through her facade. Clint grabbed her hand.
"Don't judge him yet, Nat. You haven't seen everything." The red heads brows furrowed slightly. Clint let go of her pale palm and left to rejoin the others. Leaving Natasha to contemplate the short conversation.
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Bruce had packed up a few things for his little trip with Natasha. He had been on the run for years, not being able to procure nice thing's. Or, in fact really much of anything. Plus, packing light meant not as much to slow him down if he had to run- Bruce quickly shook those thought's away. He wasn't being hunted anymore, He was safe here with Tony and the other's. General Ross and or Talbot couldn't touch him. Not while he was here.
Bruce finally decided that he should try and get some sleep before tomorrow. He had a feeling he would need it.
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A huge flash of Green flooded his vision; Flooded everything around him. Then there was screaming. A woman's voice sounding out above all the others. They were all shrieking in panic. In fear of him. People were crushed, shot's were fire, blood spilled, bones crushed. All him. It was all him! Blood pouring out of the chest of the woman he loved. He came too close, they shot at him. He killed them. Smashed their rib cages in! Instantly dead. Dead! all of them dead! He had just murdered them. It was his fault. ALWAYS HIS FAULT! The guilt was consuming, crushing!
Blood, needles, screaming, begging! Fire, bullet's, guns, even more screaming! It was a vicious cycle and it never stopped. Another gun shot fired. On him. They die! They always die! Why couldn't they just leave him alone!? WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GO AWAY?! THEY NEEDED TO GO AWAY!!!
"Bruce! Bruce snap out of it, you're having a nightmare! It's not real!" pleaded a frantic voice. Banner shot up, his head colliding with someone's chest. That person grabbed his shoulder, steadying the tremor's that were racking through his whole body. That person was rubbing his shoulder's gently, coaxing him to relax. Bruce looked up to find a pair of very concerned blue eyes staring down at him. That person was Steve Rogers.
"Bruce, Your eyes...You need to calm down. It's over, none of it was real." Oh, but it was, Bruce wishes he could say. But he doesn't. All of those dreams were just that. They were images, memories. Bad ones. Things he wasn't ready to share. Not yet. But maybe someday...
"Bruce, can you hear me?" Steve asked, sounding even more concerned than before. Bruce hadn't realized that he had zoned out again. He kept getting pulled back into those tormenting thought's. One's that never stopped haunting him.
"Jarvis," Steve called up to the ceiling. He did find it sort of strange talking to nothing- or rather, a disembodied voice. "Can you call Tony down-" "No," Bruce interrupted breathlessly, "I'm-I'm okay."
Steve's whole expression was only concerned. "You don't believe me?" He asked, slowly starting to get his breathing under control. Focusing on slow, even breaths. He was still shaky, his forehead and bare upper half were covered in sweat, but otherwise he seemed okay.
"I woke up and heard you screaming, Bruce. Screaming." Bruce turned his gaze away from the soldier. For some reason he was ashamed. "I think you were having a panic attack or something."
"You would know If I was really panicking, Cap," Bruce answered solemnly. Steve sighed. He wasn't concerned about Banner Hulking-out, he was concerned about Banner himself. Whatever is enough to make someone scream like that in the middle of the night had to be the complete opposite of something good. And also had to be something very terrifying.
"Sorry I woke you up," Bruce murmured after a short pause.
"It's not a problem," was Steve's hasty reply. Than another spot of silence fell between them. The only thing that could be heard was Bruce's heavy breathing.
"Bruce, what can I do to help you?"
"Can you knock me out forcefully enough to stop me from dreaming?" Steve stifled a light laugh.
"Sorry, I can't take the nightmares away. But I do know what's it like." Bruce glanced up at the soldier once again, silently asking him to continue. So he did. "I sometimes have dreams that I'm back on the battlefields of WWII," he confessed, "And sometimes I have dreams that the wars over and I've woken up and...there's nothing." It was possibly Steve's greatest fear. He promised he wouldn't let anything Loki said get to him, but that one line, "A man out of time," He couldn't shake it. Steve let out a low laugh.
"Here I am trying to console you and it seems that it's the other way around." Bruce shrugged.
"I don't mind at all, Cap. Maybe, if you want, we can compare." Steve grinned slightly.
"Then I believe it's your turn, Dr. Banner." They spent the remainder of the hour comparing dreams and stories from before they became Avengers. And it was honestly the longest conversation Bruce had had with the guy. It was actually nice. He finally opened up about some of the thing's that happened to him. Excluding the horrible thing's the military tried to do to him. He didn't want to offend Steve in any way. Afterwards, Banner found he was finally able to drift off to sleep peacefully, for the first time in many years.
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Thank you @chinaladiebug for giving me idea's for this chapter!
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Facing your own demons (MarvelDC contest entry)
FanficEveryone's made mistakes. Everyone's tried to wipe them away, everyone's tried to hide them, everyone try's to live pretending they don't exist. But eventually, they catch up with you. (Bruce Banner/ Avengers fanfic!) DISCLAIMER: I do not (though I...